I knew from an early age that I wanted to have children. In that same thought I also knew that I did not want to be a stay at home mom (SAHM) to those children. Being on maternity leave has been amazing. I truly have enjoyed this time with my new baby and I know that when I go back to work in a little over 3 weeks I will be sad. Sad that I have to leave her with someone else as well as feeling incredible mom guilt for going back to work when I should be at home with my child. Even with the guilt and sadness I am not ready to stay at home with my children. Here’s why:
- I love my job
I know being a mom is suppose to be the best job in the world and I love my children unconditionally. With that said, I also love my job as a nurse. I worked hard and overcame many obstacles to get into the career that I am in today and I am not fully ready to give it up. Healthcare is continually evolving and hospitals are implementing new procedures and policies all the time. Leaving nursing to stay home with my children ultimately may effect my ability to return into the same job when and if I chose to go back.
2. I’m not productive
SAHMs have to balance children, the household, appointments, grocery shopping, cooking and other duties I’m sure I forgot to mention. I’m far too lazy to balance all that, not to mention I get easily distracted. The only thing I’m good at getting through while I’m home in a day is 10 episodes of a show on Netflix and a bottle of wine. I at least manage to get the children fed and bathed by the end of the day so in my book that’s a win.
3. None of my friends are
None of my friends are SAHMs which makes it even less desirable for me to be one. I’m sure some of you are thinking “well what about mommy and me groups” or “baby time at the library, I’m sure there are a ton of moms there!” If I’m being honest, I don’t make friends very easily. My RBF (resting bitch face) game is strong and many people don’t view sarcasm as an acceptable communication strategy. This makes initiation of friendships challenging. Maybe if I had more mom friends with kids that are Avery’s age the thought would be more appealing. As it is now while on maternity leave, I feel lonely most of the time and Avery only tolerates my conversational skills for a limited time.
4. I’m not creative
SAHMs have to be creative. After all they are entertaining tiny humans who have the attention span of a fruit fly. I can be creative in other areas such as sewing and writing but when it comes to an infant or a toddler I have no clue how to entertain them all day. I’m really good at entertaining myself but usually small children don’t like to sit quietly and read or go shopping at Target.
5. We can’t afford it
Mortgage, car payments, car insurance, student loans and all other bills that have accumulated overtime need to be paid somehow. This would not be possible on one income alone. Yes, childcare can be expensive but the cost of childcare is far less then what I make in a week. Maybe it would be different if I needed to have multiple children in daycare but thankfully currently there is just the one.
I admire stay at home moms. I know that their job is not easy and they rarely get a break from the insanity. I don’t want anyone to think that in making this post that I think that I think stay at home moms have an easier job then I do because I know 100% that is not the case. Maybe someday I will change my mind about wanting to stay home with my kids but for now I will head back to work in about 3 weeks and try and not feel guilty for doing so.