I used to do this consistently. I would compare myself to anyone and everyone. Friends, co-workers, random strangers on the street and even on social media. I would compare looks, clothes, vacations, lifestyle, even how well behaved their children seemed. I soon decided that this comparison game was making me crazy. So here’s how to stop comparing yourself to others and start being happier in your own life.
Embrace your Flaws
Flaws, we all have them. They are what makes us individually unique from each other. However, I find myself daily comparing myself to others. I am constantly thinking that in comparison to others, my flaws make me less of a person. I took me a long time to embrace the fact that my hair will never be straight and full of body, my body will always be more on the voluptuous side and my stretch marks from having my two beautiful children are here to stay.
Once you start embracing your own body for what it is and what it can do, you will start feeling happier and more fulfilled in your life.
Remember things aren’t always as they seem
That trip that your friend took, or the new car your co worker has, or even the new house that your boyfriend’s sister just bought is not always as it seems. Sure some people make good financial decisions in their lives that allow them to have luxuries, but the majority of us can’t really afford the life that we live. I know countless friends who are living pay check to paycheck, have declared bankruptcy, charge their entire vacations only to pay double the cost over the next year in interest alone.
I think this is important to note because we truly covet the things that we can’t have and will spend money we don’t have on things that we can’t afford because we saw it on instagram or one of our friends has it. So next time you see one of your friends or family members with a new car or an expensive new purse and think you have to have it, remember that things are not always what they seem and focus on what you truly want and can afford.
Do the things that you love
If you love yoga, go get your downward dog on. If your amazing friend is a dedicated yogi and can twist herself into a pretzel so you feel you want to twist yourself in a pretzel, well you can do it but you may not find the same joy out of it that your friend does. You want to sit on your couch eating a pint of Ben & Jerry’s binge watching Hallmark Christmas movies even though your friends are heading out for a night of drinking. You do you and enjoy those Christmas movies.
Find the things that you love and do them. Not because someone tells you to or wants you to, because you want to and truly get fulfillment out of them.
Take on life at your own pace
It took me way into my twenties to realize and pursue the career that I wanted. I would look at my peers and feel as though they all had their shit together with good jobs, partners, kids and homes and I was this lost twenty something semi-adult who could typically be found at the bar on the weekends. It led to an incredible amount of anxiety comparing my life to their lives.
It’s ok to be the lost twenty something year old. It’s even ok to be the lost thirty something year old still trying to figure out how to be an adult. My point is, your life may not go according to your plan and it sure as hell will not look like your friends or peers. Take it on at your own pace and you will figure it all out int time.
Stop the Social Media Spiral
I’m a social media fan. I love following all these beautiful mamas and the bad ass fit girls on Instagram and posting about my life as a busy working mom. While I enjoy sharing my life, I curate my Instagram feed to show smiling children, good body angles and a clean house. I do also enjoy sharing my real life photos from time to time but the point is we only share the things we want others to see on social media.
Social Media is not an accurate depiction of real life
I would sit there and scroll through Instagram or Facebook and see these picture perfect photos of families or vacations with perfect captions and wonder why my life wasn’t like that. Why I couldn’t take these expensive trips and have children that all posed in unison for a picture. What I soon realized is that no one is perfect, no matter what they post on social media.
I started to unfollow people that didn’t truly inspire me and those that I found myself checking out and comparing myself to. I also started following others that kept it real about their lives and their problems. Sure, they had pretty pictures and well written captions too, but they were also being open, raw and vulnerable about their real life situations. It helped me stop comparing followers, likes, partnerships by focusing on those that I truly wanted to follow and interact with.
So stop comparing yourself to others! You are your own person and I think that it is important that we embrace our own individualism and uniqueness. How do you stop the comparison game in your own life?