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My Slightly Chaotic Life

Balancing Life, Children and Chaos

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Counseling Beginnings

March 7, 2018 Comments : 15

My journey with getting my son counseling services.

I never thought that I would be here, that my child would ever need this. Yet here I sit in the waiting room anticipating meeting with my son’s new counselor for the first time. It’s hard to admit that my child is having problems. That he is having a hard time coping with the transitions between my house and his dad’s house which is reflected in his overall behavior towards me, his peers and himself.

I’m embarrassed and terrified to meet with this counselor. I know I will have to admit to the years of mental and verbal abuse I endured that I let my child witness. That the screaming and the name calling did happen in front of him which may be directly impacting his coping skills and behavior now. I’m embarrassed to admit it took me years to even realize what was happening to me and that even now his father and myself can not get along for the sake of our child.

The stigma of shame of needing counseling for myself or my son is also at the forefront of my mind. I feel shameful that I can’t deal with these problems on my own and that I have to turn to outside sources to help. The thought that I’m failing as his mother is the loudest voice I’m hearing in my head right now.

It’s hard for me to admit to myself and publicly that I’m not a perfect mom. It’s even harder for me to admit that my child is not perfect but that is what he needs right now. He needs me to see the problem, address the problem and help him overcome this difficult time in his life. If I continue to tell myself that he’s perfect and blame others for the challenges we are facing would be doing him a huge disservice now that would undoubtedly carry on later into his life.

One thing I do feel though aside from shame, fear and embarrassment is hope. I’m hopeful for this new experience in his life. That it will help him open up, talk about how he is feeling and help him cope better with the transitions. He is a sweet, smart and funny boy and I want him to stay that way despite the challenges we are all facing at this junction in our lives. I also feel hopeful that maybe seeing him thrive with counseling too will help me seek out counseling for the trauma and the resulting feelings I have towards myself that I carry around with me.

I know I’m not a bad mom, that my child needs this in his life but it’s hard not to feel that way about myself. I will always continue to do what is best for him no matter what. I can only hope that he will understand that all the choices I made were with his best interest in mind.

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Comments

  1. Veronika says

    April 11, 2018 at 1:08 pm

    You are such a brave mama! Thank you for sharing. I know counseling can have a negative stereotype, but it’s only going to benefit your little one! ❤️

    Reply
  2. joannevarga says

    April 11, 2018 at 1:09 pm

    Thank you for sharing your story! I have recently separated from my husband and I chose to have my son in therapy right away as he was having troubles understanding what was happening. It was such a good choice! You will all make it through! ❤️

    Reply
  3. Tramayne says

    April 12, 2018 at 10:06 am

    Your vulnerability and authenticity are beautiful. Praying that you both get what you need from counseling.

    Reply
  4. Heather says

    June 18, 2018 at 5:56 pm

    You’re not alone! My son was recently diagnosed with depression, and it’s hard not to feel like I somehow failed him. Keep your chin up…you’re doing what your son needs and that’s all that matters!

    Reply
  5. Kelsey @ Raising Little Wild Ones says

    June 18, 2018 at 6:36 pm

    You are so brave for sharing your story and talking one of the difficult parts of being a mom! You are definitely not alone, I think every mom has felt similar at some point in their lives. But honestly, I don’t think the world judges us nearly as much as we judge ourselves. Most people just want to help in whatever way they can and don’t really care how you got there! You’re doing what’s best for your little one and you should feel GOOD about that!

    Reply
  6. a says

    June 18, 2018 at 6:53 pm

    I hate that our society stigmatizes mental health so much that you are ashamed of this. There is no shame in getting the help you and your son need! Best of luck to the both of you.

    Reply
  7. Geraline Batarra says

    June 19, 2018 at 6:53 am

    This is truly one of the post that we can admire and give us inspiration. Just ignore the society and do what is right for your child. Wish you all the best.

    Reply
  8. Daisy says

    June 19, 2018 at 12:30 pm

    You are such a good mama giving him what tools to heal…. divorce is so difficult and I remember my brothers acting out and hurting but no one ever thought about taking them to get help…

    Reply
  9. Shannon Sawicki says

    June 19, 2018 at 2:37 pm

    Co parenting with an ex is extremely hard, I have witnessed it first had with my husband and his ex. Both of their kids have been in counseling. I understand your struggles, but know you’re not alone. You are doing your very best, nobody is judging you they are all too busy judging themselves.

    Reply
  10. Elizabeth O says

    June 19, 2018 at 3:24 pm

    What makes you a good parent is that you put your son first. I am sure when he grows he will more understand and appreciate everything you did to help him transition smoothly.

    Reply
  11. Lisa RIos says

    June 19, 2018 at 4:27 pm

    I am so very sorry. 🙁 It ios so sad that you and him have to go through this. Know that you are not alone and I commend you for getting him help. Hang in there mama.

    Reply
  12. Omar Omran says

    June 19, 2018 at 5:11 pm

    “I feel shameful that I can’t deal with these problems on my own and that I have to turn to outside sources to help. ”

    You should be proud that you are trying to help your son no matter what! The priority is his well-being at the end of the day, and anything should be done for that. Don’t be ashamed at all, you’re doing the right thing despite the circumstances.

    Stay strong!

    Reply
  13. Alison Rost says

    June 20, 2018 at 2:48 am

    I think it’s better that you’re doing this than allowing your shame to take over abd not seek help for him at all. As moms we all know what’s best for our child. You’re doing great!

    Reply
  14. Twinspirational says

    June 20, 2018 at 4:28 am

    You sound like a wonderful parent that puts her son’s need first. Good luck with the counseling.

    Reply
  15. Jojo Hua says

    June 20, 2018 at 9:56 am

    It’s always good to ask for help when you need it. It’s admirable that you are giving your son the space and not letting him feel embarrassed to ask for help when he needs it. That’s vitally healthy for a growing child.

    Reply

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Hi! I'm Danielle. I'm a mom, wife and ED nurse. I love sharing my honest take on being a mom, traveling with kids and lifestyle content.

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And the more you buy, the more you save so keep that in mind when your looking to update your space! 
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A little in my feels this weekend with Mother’s A little in my feels this weekend with Mother’s Day and officially being past the halfway point in this pregnancy. 
Time really does fly by so fast that it’s hard to keep up and before I know it, a new little one will be joining our small, crowded home. Trying to get as much stuff done before that happens including adding storage options where I am able to. 
Thankful to @nathanjames furniture for helping to add just that while being stylish with this beautiful Kova storage unit. Link in my bio to get one for your home. 

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Maine’s Dunkin’ franchisees have given more than $500,000 to The Barbara Bush Children’s Hospital since 2012, mainly through the annual Dunkin’ Iced Coffee Day campaign fundraiser (taking place on May 25th this year!). On Dunkin’ Iced Coffee Day, $1 from every iced coffee sold at participating Maine Dunkin’ locations will be donated to the Dunkin’ Joy in Childhood Foundation to bring joy to kids at BBCH. (Excludes Cold Brew and Nitro Cold Brew.)
The $87k @JoyInChildhood grant will help bring joy through gaming experiences to pediatric patients with the hope of normalizing their stays at hospitals. Children that are living with chronic illness or dealing with a hospitalization are at greater risk than their peers for the impact of stress and anxiety. Distraction is a healthy coping mechanism for kids and teens to disengage with the hospital environment. Gaming provides the perfect escape to play, relax, laugh and experience joy.This grant will have an immediate impact by adding structure and staff support for gaming as part of the hospitals’ Child Life Program. 
Today, a Dunkin’ sampling truck provided free small, iced coffees and Munchkins to more than 1,000 Maine Medical Center employees in Portland and Scarborough. 
 
Dunkin’ is not only supporting the children of Maine, but the healthcare workers too. So, make sure to grab an iced coffee at Dunkin’ on May 25th to help support these wonderful programs as well! 
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A little over halfway there. Even though hitting A little over halfway there. 
Even though hitting these milestones feels slight reassuring, I know I won’t fully be able to breath until this little one is out and healthy. Even appointments bring about their own set of fears that something may be wrong. For now, I’m just taking it day by day and week by week and having hope that everything will be ok.

Any other moms or moms to be out there forgo the weekly pictures? I just can’t ever get my shit together enough to remember to take them. Tell me I’m not the only one. 
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Sometimes I feel like I am the only one that doesn Sometimes I feel like I am the only one that doesn’t enjoy pregnancy on this platform.
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I’m exhausted, sick and barely have enough energy to get through the things that I need to do let alone the things that I used to enjoy like working out. The stress of trying to figure out how I’m going to get through the next 18 weeks has been overwhelming to me lately. 
I will still share the joys but I also think it’s more realistic to share the downfalls too so hopefully hearing that not all pregnant women glow 24/7 can give those who are struggling as well someone to relate to. 

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Mother’s Day is fast approaching and I love gett Mother’s Day is fast approaching and I love getting gifts that mean something. 

@picturesongold is exactly the type of gift that I love getting. Custom made lockets with laser engraved pictures inside make this the perfect sentimental gift idea for someone in your life or even for yourself. 
If you order now you can get shipping guaranteed by Mother’s Day. Head to the link in my bio to learn more! 
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Just a little reminder that @dunkin still has 2 me Just a little reminder that @dunkin still has 2 medium iced coffees for only $5! What better way to reconnect then by grabbing an iced coffee for you and one for a friend?

This fun Dunkin’ pop up Dunkin’ Connections was the perfect spot to grab this cute photo op! Even the kids had fun trying to learn how to use an actual phone! 
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I’m not sure about you, but I love saving money I’m not sure about you, but I love saving money on everyday items!! #BJsWholesalePartner That’s why I shop at BJ’s Wholesale Club. And now there is one more reason to love shopping @BJsWholesale: BJ’s Fuel Savers Program! Now through the end of April, BJ’s members who spend $100 in-club or on a pickup order, will receive an additional 50 cents off per gallon at the pump. This discount will be reflected when they fill up outside at the pump at BJ’s Gas after making a $100+ purchase in-club. (In-club purchase and gas purchase must be made on the same day in order to receive the additional discount). So, become a BJ’s member today and fill up your pantry, fridge and your gas tank with these amazing deals and savings. 
This special BJ’s Gas offer is valid from now until the end of 
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Anyone else struggle getting enough sleep? I know Anyone else struggle getting enough sleep? I know I do, especially lately.
(ad) @marlowpillow is helping me get better sleep with their cooling, memory foam pillows that are adjustable to the firmness that you like. Making my bed a cozier place to be allows me to get the rest my body is desperate for. Make sure to check out my stories to learn more! 
And the more you buy, the more you save so keep that in mind when your looking to update your space! 
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#mycozyhome #homedecorinspo #bedroominspo #cozybedroom #pregnancylife #bettersleep #bedtimereading #momlifeunfiltered #pregnantmama #motherhoodsimplified #bedroomstyling #sleepytime
A little in my feels this weekend with Mother’s A little in my feels this weekend with Mother’s Day and officially being past the halfway point in this pregnancy. 
Time really does fly by so fast that it’s hard to keep up and before I know it, a new little one will be joining our small, crowded home. Trying to get as much stuff done before that happens including adding storage options where I am able to. 
Thankful to @nathanjames furniture for helping to add just that while being stylish with this beautiful Kova storage unit. Link in my bio to get one for your home. 

How do you organize your small spaces to keep your sanity with kids?! I need all the tips! 
.
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.
.
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#cornerofmyhome #homedecorideas #smallspaces #homedecorating #maineliving #newenglandliving #momsofig #momstyle #homestylinginspo #organizedhome #lifewithkids
As a mom, one of the scariest things is to have a As a mom, one of the scariest things is to have a sick child, and as a nurse, I know how disruptive health issues can be on the lives of children and teens. Thankfully The Barbara Bush Children’s Hospital at Maine Medical Center is close by and provides high quality healthcare to the many children of Maine, and today, BBCH became one of the first hospitals in the country to receive the Connecting Joy grant from the @dunkin Joy in Childhood Foundation! #DunkinPartner
 
Maine’s Dunkin’ franchisees have given more than $500,000 to The Barbara Bush Children’s Hospital since 2012, mainly through the annual Dunkin’ Iced Coffee Day campaign fundraiser (taking place on May 25th this year!). On Dunkin’ Iced Coffee Day, $1 from every iced coffee sold at participating Maine Dunkin’ locations will be donated to the Dunkin’ Joy in Childhood Foundation to bring joy to kids at BBCH. (Excludes Cold Brew and Nitro Cold Brew.)
The $87k @JoyInChildhood grant will help bring joy through gaming experiences to pediatric patients with the hope of normalizing their stays at hospitals. Children that are living with chronic illness or dealing with a hospitalization are at greater risk than their peers for the impact of stress and anxiety. Distraction is a healthy coping mechanism for kids and teens to disengage with the hospital environment. Gaming provides the perfect escape to play, relax, laugh and experience joy.This grant will have an immediate impact by adding structure and staff support for gaming as part of the hospitals’ Child Life Program. 
Today, a Dunkin’ sampling truck provided free small, iced coffees and Munchkins to more than 1,000 Maine Medical Center employees in Portland and Scarborough. 
 
Dunkin’ is not only supporting the children of Maine, but the healthcare workers too. So, make sure to grab an iced coffee at Dunkin’ on May 25th to help support these wonderful programs as well! 
 . 
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
#DunkinMaine #SipIcedBringJoy #BringJoy #mainelife #mainemom #newenglandliving #newenglandstyle #momstyle #workingmomlife #mommyandme #coffeelife #motherhoodinspired
A little over halfway there. Even though hitting A little over halfway there. 
Even though hitting these milestones feels slight reassuring, I know I won’t fully be able to breath until this little one is out and healthy. Even appointments bring about their own set of fears that something may be wrong. For now, I’m just taking it day by day and week by week and having hope that everything will be ok.

Any other moms or moms to be out there forgo the weekly pictures? I just can’t ever get my shit together enough to remember to take them. Tell me I’m not the only one. 
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
#momtobe #pregnantlife #pregnantstyle #pregnancyafterloss #motherhoodjourney #20weekspregnant #momoftwo #baby3 
#honestmommin #mommyandme #honestmom #momsofig #motherhoodthroughinstagram
Sometimes I feel like I am the only one that doesn Sometimes I feel like I am the only one that doesn’t enjoy pregnancy on this platform.
I love the end result and am so grateful to be creating a new life but lately I have had more bad days then good days. 

I’m exhausted, sick and barely have enough energy to get through the things that I need to do let alone the things that I used to enjoy like working out. The stress of trying to figure out how I’m going to get through the next 18 weeks has been overwhelming to me lately. 
I will still share the joys but I also think it’s more realistic to share the downfalls too so hopefully hearing that not all pregnant women glow 24/7 can give those who are struggling as well someone to relate to. 

Follow along for more relatable mom and pregnancy content and share with me your struggles in the comments. 
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
#pregnancylife #pregnantstyle #pregnantmama #thebump #momtruth #pregnancyjourney #momlifeunfiltered #motherhoodunplugged #instamommy #momblogs #targetmom #targetstyle #motherly #teammotherly
Mother’s Day is fast approaching and I love gett Mother’s Day is fast approaching and I love getting gifts that mean something. 

@picturesongold is exactly the type of gift that I love getting. Custom made lockets with laser engraved pictures inside make this the perfect sentimental gift idea for someone in your life or even for yourself. 
If you order now you can get shipping guaranteed by Mother’s Day. Head to the link in my bio to learn more! 
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
#mothersdaygiftideas #mothersdaygift #motherhoodinspired #motherhoodjourney #mombloggers #momsofinsta #giftideasforher #momlifebalance #motherhoodunited
Just a little reminder that @dunkin still has 2 me Just a little reminder that @dunkin still has 2 medium iced coffees for only $5! What better way to reconnect then by grabbing an iced coffee for you and one for a friend?

This fun Dunkin’ pop up Dunkin’ Connections was the perfect spot to grab this cute photo op! Even the kids had fun trying to learn how to use an actual phone! 
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
#dunkinmaine #dunkinpartner #dunkinconnections #mainemama #newenglandblogger #maineliving #motherhoodmoments #momstyle #momsofinsta #coffeedaily #visitmaine 
#easystyle
I’m not sure about you, but I love saving money I’m not sure about you, but I love saving money on everyday items!! #BJsWholesalePartner That’s why I shop at BJ’s Wholesale Club. And now there is one more reason to love shopping @BJsWholesale: BJ’s Fuel Savers Program! Now through the end of April, BJ’s members who spend $100 in-club or on a pickup order, will receive an additional 50 cents off per gallon at the pump. This discount will be reflected when they fill up outside at the pump at BJ’s Gas after making a $100+ purchase in-club. (In-club purchase and gas purchase must be made on the same day in order to receive the additional discount). So, become a BJ’s member today and fill up your pantry, fridge and your gas tank with these amazing deals and savings. 
This special BJ’s Gas offer is valid from now until the end of 
#bjswholesaleclub #BjsSmartSaver 
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
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#momstyle #momblogs #motherhoodalive #newenglandliving #mainemom #moneysavingtips #momswhoblog #momsofig
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