• Home
  • About Me
  • Contact
  • Legalities
  • Categories
    • Parenting
    • Lifestyle
    • Holiday Ideas
    • Wellness
    • Beauty
    • Travel

My Slightly Chaotic Life

Balancing Life, Children and Chaos

Parenting

Dear My Childless Friends

July 15, 2018 Comments : 20

What I want my childless friends to know about being a mom. These friends are invaluable people to have in your life.

In the last few years I have acquired numerous friends that don’t have children. These friends are amazing people and despite having kids they still want to be my friend. Some of them want children of their own, some don’t want children at all but no matter what they supported me as I raised a child and grew another. These friends are invaluable to me and sometimes I may not tell them the realities of becoming a mom and all that it entails because I either don’t want to scare them away from being my friend or scare them away from having children of their own.

With that said here are a few things I want my childless friends to know.

1. First and foremost: I appreciate you

I appreciate you being my friend and knowing that that means I may have to bring my children along with me to activities and lunches. It also means knowing that I may not always be available to hang out or may have to cancel because of a school function, a birthday parry or a sick child. My friendship comes with cute small attachments and I appreciate, from the bottom of my heart, that you have not only embraced my children but include me even when you know I may not be able to go.

2. You may be lonely

Despite having friends and family members who are supportive and embrace your children, there will be many times when you feel alone. Countless hours at home with an infant who does nothing except for eat, sleep and crap can be isolating. Same goes for when you are at your child’s 1200th school function of the year and you aren’t the popular PTA parent. Another time is when co-workers discuss plans to go get drinks, dinner or hike and you already know you won’t be invited or can’t go because you have children. This is where mom friends are important but even then mom friends get busy with their own children and sometimes may not have time for play dates.

3. Your body will never be the same

The majority of us are not that woman with the perfect body that slims down immediately after having a baby. For most of us our body changes and those changes become permanent. I’m talking about saggy boobs, stretch marks and bigger hips. Somedays I look in the mirror and think “what the hell happened to my body” and long for days where I could wear skinny jeans and bikinis.

4. You will be tired

I’m not talking about party all night, hangover feeling tired even though having children brings a new all night party per say. I’m talking about the insomnia that accompanies the third trimester in pregnancy immediately followed by the infancy period where you have no idea what day it is. Even when the kids start sleeping in their own bed there will be many nights that produce nightmares, tears and vomit. There is nothing like being woken up out of a dead sleep with the sound of vomit splashing against your hard wood floor and a small human standing over it with tears in their eyes. The difference between now and when I lived in a sorority house in college is that now I’m responsible to clean the mess up and put the child back to bed.

5. You can’t just leave the house on a whim

Going anywhere is an ordeal. You either have to prepare fully the night before or plan to get up an extra hour early in the morning. With a baby it’s even harder. When I have to venture out not only do I have to yell at Hayden 3-4 times to put his shoes on and remind him to grab whatever items it is he needs for the day but I also have to get all the crap I need for a day out with a baby. By the time I’ve checked and double checked everything, got the baby in the car seat, take the baby out because she decided at that it was the perfect time to poop, put the baby back in the car seat, get the kids in the car, run back into the house to grab the diaper bag, run back into the house because I forget the keys, and finally after 20-30 minutes of back and forth we leave.

6. You will never be more proud of what your body can do

You will endure 9 months of pregnancy and all the changes that brings. morning sickness, expanding waist line, extreme exhaustion, insomnia, excessive peeing, and overwhelming hunger. This will be followed by weeks of Braxton-Hicks contractions, hours and sometimes days of labor, a possible c-section, recovery after delivery, and then weeks of bleeding and months of belly pain if you’ve had a c-section. Your body will endure more then you ever think that it could and you will be so damn proud of it.

7. You will never know a greater love

From those first kicks to seeing that little profile on the ultrasound to finally being able to hold your baby in your arms. You will never know a greater love then that you have for your child. Yes, your life will change but it will change for the better. Every time your child smiles at you or achieves a milestone your heart will explode with happiness. It’s a feeling you can’t explain until you’ve experienced it and I’m so excited for you when you do.

8. You will never get this time back

The saying the days are the long but the years are short is the truest statement I have ever heard. In the blink of an eye your baby will be walking, talking, riding a bike, and going off to their first day of school. You will wonder where all the time went and your heart will break at how fast your children are growing up. So when I say no to hanging out or going places it’s because I don’t want to miss these moments with my children. I already miss so much time working and sharing custody of Hayden that when given the opportunity between eating tacos and watching The Secret Life of Pets for the 200th time with my kids or grabbing dinner with friends I will chose the time with my kids more times then not. This doesn’t mean though that I won’t need a night out every once in a while so thank you for including me when that times comes.

 

Share this...
Pin on Pinterest
Pinterest
Share on Facebook
Facebook
Tweet about this on Twitter
Twitter
Previous:
The Burden of “Mom Guilt”
Next:
2 Must Have Baby Items

Comments

  1. With love from p says

    July 16, 2018 at 9:11 am

    Beautiful post and do extremely true. I always say the same things to my friends who don’t have kids.

    Reply
  2. Rachel says

    July 16, 2018 at 2:02 pm

    Ugh all these things are so true. Especially that your body will never be the same! Haha something I think people know but don’t fully KNOW until you have been there.

    Reply
  3. Rianna Galvez says

    July 16, 2018 at 8:28 pm

    This is such a sweet and meaningful post!! I definitely agree with you on appreciating our friends. I have a couple of great ones too that helped me a lot even before my baby was born! 🙂

    Reply
  4. Jessie says

    July 16, 2018 at 11:47 pm

    All of these are so so so true. The greater love one for sure. I will never forget the feeling I felt when I saw my daughter for the first time. Loved this post. Thank you for sharing!!

    Reply
  5. Athena says

    July 23, 2018 at 6:29 pm

    I love this! So beautiful and so sooooo true!!

    Reply
  6. Michelle says

    July 23, 2018 at 6:57 pm

    What a fantastic read, especially for someone who doesn’t have kids. It’s impossible to understand the fatigue, the brain fog, the worrying etc that comes with being a parent until you actually are a parent. I myself have 4 kids but didn’t come close to understanding the above until I had kids

    Reply
  7. Farmhouse Mama says

    July 23, 2018 at 11:31 pm

    Great post! This is so true. Getting out of the house definitely takes WAY more planning and I think people don’t realize that sometimes.

    Reply
  8. Stefani K Rose says

    July 24, 2018 at 11:38 am

    This is spot on!! Great job! After 4 kids my body and my heart will never be the same. I lost a lot of friends when I first had kids – the baby days were hard for me and very lonely but then I connected to other moms and it was my saving grace. Each season the friendships change, grow and shift. Now while I am in the baby days with my 4th child I am seeing my friends from school having their first and I am like “see it’s hard” – you honestly don’t know what it is like until you go through it!!

    Reply
  9. Jenn Pohlman says

    July 24, 2018 at 4:31 pm

    Being a new mom, I love all these thoughts and the encouragement you give them. They are all so very true – from the incredible, I am a Hero!, feelings to the ones where you don’t really even know who you are anymore! It is all so rewarding and completely inexplicable until experienced firsthand.

    Reply
  10. Janine Ella says

    August 5, 2018 at 2:36 am

    “You will never know a greater love” –> This is SOOOO TRUE! When I gave birth, I was feeling a mix of emotions but it was love that I felt most. Love for your own child is just so different I could not explain.

    Reply
  11. Namra says

    August 5, 2018 at 7:20 am

    Aww, why wouldn’t they want you as a friend, your probably awesome. I gotten new friends to, and I don’t mind if they have kids. Your list was very cute, and I like it that your so honest about it and include the “up-sides and the down-sides” in a way. But in the end, it’s worth it of course. All parents I know seem very happy, like tired, but happy.

    Reply
  12. shemadewut says

    August 5, 2018 at 11:39 am

    Super cute! looking forward to more!

    Reply
  13. Erica says

    August 5, 2018 at 7:02 pm

    I don’t have that many friends that don’t have children because I’m a stay-at-home mom so the only people I meet are people with kids. However, my sister has no children and it can be tough sometimes. Getting together is tough, especially since all three of my boys are under 10.

    Reply
  14. Jo says

    August 6, 2018 at 4:26 am

    Awesome post. As a childless woman (for now) this is something I can see from both sides, because most of my friends do have children.

    Reply
  15. Daisy says

    August 6, 2018 at 9:49 am

    Such a lovely post and so true…. you will never know a greater love… I adore being a Mama so very much!

    Reply
  16. Doreen says

    August 6, 2018 at 2:44 pm

    I do not have kids yet. But truth be told, reading posts about pregnancy and labour pains and how tough it is, in the beginning, makes me grateful at this point in my life that I am not there yet. Having said that, my mom had 4 kids and I must say she did an amazing job, raising all of us.

    Reply
  17. Nandita says

    August 6, 2018 at 3:06 pm

    I can relate to each and every point you mentioned being a mom of a 10-year and a 10-month-old. The struggle, boredom and extreme exhaustion is there as are the proud, heart melting and love-beyond-words moments. Wonderful perspective on motherhood

    Reply
  18. Nancie says

    August 6, 2018 at 6:53 pm

    I guess when you decide to have children you sign on for all of this. Enjoy your kids. 🙂

    Reply
  19. kumamonjeng says

    August 6, 2018 at 9:23 pm

    Being mom is a job that you cannot quit, so it is a life long thing. Nurturing a child is challenging but can be fun at the same time.

    Reply
  20. Elizabeth O says

    August 7, 2018 at 8:08 am

    You made so many great points. I am sure your childless friends will really appreciate your honesty here. Great post.

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Recipe Rating




About Me

Hello

Hi! I'm Danielle. I'm a mom, wife and ED nurse. I love sharing my honest take on being a mom, traveling with kids and lifestyle content.

Let’s Connect

Featured Posts

postpartum wellness tips

Postpartum Wellness Tips

Easy. Elf on the Shelf Ideas

Easy Elf on the Shelf Ideas

Diaper Bag Essentials

Diaper Bag Essentials

Categories

  • Beauty
  • Holiday Ideas
  • Home Decor
  • Lifestyle
  • Mom Life
  • New England Living
  • Parenting
  • Pregnancy
  • Recipes
  • Style
  • Travel
  • Uncategorized
  • Wellness

Search

Archives

I had to make the difficult decision to say goodby I had to make the difficult decision to say goodbye to Bella today. I’ve had Bella for 16 years. She has seen me through  relationships, marriages, a divorce, the birth of my children, countless moves and so much more. She was my little lazy dog that loved to snuggle under the covers and lay out in grass on a sunny day. 
She hated winter and tolerated the children. She’s going to be missed so much ❤️
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
#familydog #italiangreyhound #olddog #sayinggoodbye #motherhoodunplugged
My nights after the kids go to bed is so productiv My nights after the kids go to bed is so productive. 
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
#momtruth #motherhoodunplugged #honestmom #funnymom #momhumor #funnyreel #relateable
I’m not sure if they are going to invite me back I’m not sure if they are going to invite me back….
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
#mommyandme #mommemes #honestmom #momsbelike #darkhumor #workingmomlife
Any other Winter Warriors out there? #ad You know, Any other Winter Warriors out there? #ad You know, the ones who drink iced coffee even in the coldest of weather? @dunkin is here to support all those Winter Warriors out there with their selection of iced coffee! If you’re out in the snow and drinking an iced coffee this winter, make sure to tag #dunkinwinterwarrior on your post!
#dunkinmaine #dunkinpartner
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
#maineliving #mainetheway #icedcoffee #icedcoffeeaddict #momstyle #momlifestyle
Supporting my postpartum body with @beli.baby Pren Supporting my postpartum body with @beli.baby Prenatal vitamins. 
Not only are the essential prior to conception and during pregnancy; they are essential to keep the body healthy after pregnancy as well. 
I have openly shared my previous miscarriages before finally getting pregnant with Chloe. This is why I decided to check out the Beli Women Prenatal vitamins to help with my own personal fertility and boost my chances of a having a successful pregnancy. The Beli Women Prenatal vitamins are formulated with powerful ingredients that can boost fertility and conception as well as  improve egg quality. As an older mom, this was especially important to me. During pregnancy, the Beli Women Prenatal can protect baby’s brain and spine, help reduce nausea, and then support postpartum recovery and breastfeeding.
And as a busy mom having the ability to order and have them delivered to your door monthly makes it that much easier for me to remember to take them. 
What are you doing to support your postpartum wellness? #belibaby #postpartumbody 
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
#postpartumwellness #postpartumjourney #pregnancylife #mombod #momof3 #pregnancyjourney
A little day off morning routine that for once was A little day off morning routine that for once was not pure craziness. 
Things that help me get out the door in the morning on time is getting up before the kids, having clothes picked out the night before and making sure their bags are packed for daycare and school. 
Mornings before work are a completely different ballgame. 
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
#morningroutine #morningvlog #dayinthelife #dailyvlog #momof3 #motherhoodunfiltered #dailylife
Not exactly sure how I am going to survive the tee Not exactly sure how I am going to survive the teen years with this one. 🤦🏻‍♀️ 
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
#raisingdaughters #momreels #motherhood #momhumor #mommyandme
I wonder what it must be like to go through life w I wonder what it must be like to go through life without a care in the world 😂 I guess this is where we balance each other out; me being the ball of anxiety and him being calm. Anyone else’s marriage or relationship like this? 
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
#marriagehumor #marriedlife #funnyreel #anxietyproblems #marriagegoals #husbandandwife
Follow Me on Instagram

Tags

Baby Baby essentials baby items Back to school birth cesarean section Children Christmas Christmas gifts Family travel Fourth trimester Gift Ideas Goals Healthy Healthy Kids Healthy Living Holiday Home Home decor Kids Life changes Lifestyle Maine Maine Living Mom mom life Mom style motherhood Motherhood unplugged Mother’s Day moving forward new baby New England living New England travel new mom New Year Parenting pregnancy preparing for baby Relationships second child Travel travel with kids Weight Loss Working mom
I had to make the difficult decision to say goodby I had to make the difficult decision to say goodbye to Bella today. I’ve had Bella for 16 years. She has seen me through  relationships, marriages, a divorce, the birth of my children, countless moves and so much more. She was my little lazy dog that loved to snuggle under the covers and lay out in grass on a sunny day. 
She hated winter and tolerated the children. She’s going to be missed so much ❤️
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
#familydog #italiangreyhound #olddog #sayinggoodbye #motherhoodunplugged
My nights after the kids go to bed is so productiv My nights after the kids go to bed is so productive. 
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
#momtruth #motherhoodunplugged #honestmom #funnymom #momhumor #funnyreel #relateable
I’m not sure if they are going to invite me back I’m not sure if they are going to invite me back….
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
#mommyandme #mommemes #honestmom #momsbelike #darkhumor #workingmomlife
Any other Winter Warriors out there? #ad You know, Any other Winter Warriors out there? #ad You know, the ones who drink iced coffee even in the coldest of weather? @dunkin is here to support all those Winter Warriors out there with their selection of iced coffee! If you’re out in the snow and drinking an iced coffee this winter, make sure to tag #dunkinwinterwarrior on your post!
#dunkinmaine #dunkinpartner
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
#maineliving #mainetheway #icedcoffee #icedcoffeeaddict #momstyle #momlifestyle
Supporting my postpartum body with @beli.baby Pren Supporting my postpartum body with @beli.baby Prenatal vitamins. 
Not only are the essential prior to conception and during pregnancy; they are essential to keep the body healthy after pregnancy as well. 
I have openly shared my previous miscarriages before finally getting pregnant with Chloe. This is why I decided to check out the Beli Women Prenatal vitamins to help with my own personal fertility and boost my chances of a having a successful pregnancy. The Beli Women Prenatal vitamins are formulated with powerful ingredients that can boost fertility and conception as well as  improve egg quality. As an older mom, this was especially important to me. During pregnancy, the Beli Women Prenatal can protect baby’s brain and spine, help reduce nausea, and then support postpartum recovery and breastfeeding.
And as a busy mom having the ability to order and have them delivered to your door monthly makes it that much easier for me to remember to take them. 
What are you doing to support your postpartum wellness? #belibaby #postpartumbody 
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
#postpartumwellness #postpartumjourney #pregnancylife #mombod #momof3 #pregnancyjourney
A little day off morning routine that for once was A little day off morning routine that for once was not pure craziness. 
Things that help me get out the door in the morning on time is getting up before the kids, having clothes picked out the night before and making sure their bags are packed for daycare and school. 
Mornings before work are a completely different ballgame. 
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
#morningroutine #morningvlog #dayinthelife #dailyvlog #momof3 #motherhoodunfiltered #dailylife
Not exactly sure how I am going to survive the tee Not exactly sure how I am going to survive the teen years with this one. 🤦🏻‍♀️ 
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
#raisingdaughters #momreels #motherhood #momhumor #mommyandme
I wonder what it must be like to go through life w I wonder what it must be like to go through life without a care in the world 😂 I guess this is where we balance each other out; me being the ball of anxiety and him being calm. Anyone else’s marriage or relationship like this? 
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
#marriagehumor #marriedlife #funnyreel #anxietyproblems #marriagegoals #husbandandwife
Follow Me on Instagram
2023  Design by SkyandStars.co
Back Top