It has been 7 plus months since i returned to work after having Avery. I have been very vocal that I often feel guilty leaving my children at home, daycare or school to head off to work. This is especially true on the weekends when there are birthday parties to attend, sporting games to watch and family time that I sadly am unable to participate in because in my line of work, I have to work weekends.
I know there are many other moms out there that are experiencing this working mom guilt as well. So how to deal with working mom guilt? Here are a few things to remember next time the guilt starts kicking in as you head off to work.
You worked hard for your career
I worked hard to become a nurse. I busted my ass through nursing school, clinical and a job I didn’t love to land in my dream position I am in now. I am sure the same goes for you in whatever career you chose to chase after.
There is nothing wrong with being proud of that hard work you put into building up a career that you love. This is no way means you love your child any less.
Some moms are not meant to be SAHMs
I wrote a post about the reasons I could never be a stay at home mom, check it out HERE. Some women are just not meant for that role. I admire those moms who are SAHMs and think they probably work harder then I do at my job maintaining their children and their homes but just know that it is not for me.
Your children will see your work ethic
One of the proudest working mom moments I experienced was when Hayden was about 5 years old. I was having a conversation with an old acquaintance from high school who asked where I was working. Hayden chimes in and excitedly says “my mom works at the hospital where the ambulance goes with sick people. She takes care of people.” He was so proud when he said this and it made me feel that all the times that I had to miss a game or concert was worth it to see how proud he was of what I do (or he could have just been excited about ambulances but I like to think otherwise).
What I am getting at is your kids will see how hard you work to balance work life and home life.
You’re giving your children the opportunity to explore and grow
Putting my children in daycare has been a blessing in disguise. I have amazing daycare providers who have taught my children so much more then they could have ever learned from me. My oldest also had to learn to share and how to get along with other kids since he was an only child for 7 years. He also made friendships at daycare that he has carried into his school years.
Avery is still little but I feel that she is growing and exploring at daycare as Hayden did in his early years. I will say that with all the weekends Avery has spent one on one with her dad while I have been working has created a special bond between the two of them. I think it also has helped Aaron become an even more hands on and amazing dad then he already is.
There will always be haters
There will always be comments about how you “allow other people to raise your child” or “don’t you want to be home with your kids?” Just yesterday I posted a photo to my Instagram account talking about how I don’t want to leave my job to stay home and work a self-made business. The majority of the comments where supportive but there was one comment by a mom herself who said “I don’t know why women chose to have kids if they are just going to leave them with someone else. It makes me sad.” Did her comment hurt? Yes, a little bit. But then I remember that her judgement doesn’t mean anything. My kids are happy, healthy are surrounded by people who love them.
Somebody will always have something to say and my best advice is to say screw them. Do what is best for you and your family and don’t worry what anyone else’s opinions. Just do you.
I love this article. It is crazy how we are expected to do it all and when we do we feel guilt about it. You are modeling such amazing behavior for your kids.
Terri Steffes says
I was a working mom too and raised a beautiful, successful 33-year-old daughter. Guess what? She’s planning on being a stay at home mom. Not because she felt cheated, but because she wants to. That’s all the reasons anyone needs from the outside.
I wish mom-guilt wasn’t a thing. I wish that society didn’t put so much pressure on parents to be all to everyone, especially mothers. Hopefully your post eases the guilt of the moms who read it.
Bella at Dear Mummy Blog says
My mummy went back to work after six months after having me, even though it was compressed hours she felt guilty but we needed the money and it made weekends much sweeter. It’s a difficult decision and every mum is different. She’s not built for SAHM x
Well, your doing this for your kid and feeling guilty won’t help so just do what you think you can and shrug maybe some side comments you may hear? But don’t skip the quality time with them.
Well done for this post my darling, some mums don’t have the option to stay at home, and even if they do, they don’t want to. Everyone is different and we should celebrate that x
Debs @ https://tiger-mint.com
Sania Ahmed says
Same like me I can’t imagine myself being home… Just 9 months back we got married and we are planning a baby may be after we complete a year of our marriage and I am already stressed out thinking of all these things coz i cant be at home at all. I need to do something or else i feel I am missing on something and time is running out… You are bang on mama… loads of love to you and the little ones.
Lydia Smith says
I can imagine what it feels like with advice and criticism here and there. Nevertheless, you did what’s best for you. I’m glad you did. The SAHM life can’t for everyone. Looking this helps all momma out there. Daycare for kids is OK.
It makes me so sad to think that mothers feel guilty – or worse “made to feel guilt” – either because they work outside the home or because they don’t work outside the home. Being a mother has enough challenges already – no need for extra guilt. Great that you put together such an inspiring post!
Maggie Unzueta says
This is a very inspiring blog for working moms! Thank you for sharing.
This is so honest and interesting to read. I can imagine there are a lot of working mums out there who agree with you and feel the same.
Megan Kerry says
Hey Girl! I’m also a nurse and I completely understand the struggle between being a mom, and being pulled to your career! Nursing school really is one of the most difficult things I’ve accomplished in my adult life, and I am so proud of myself that I made it all the way through and begun my career. I am pretty fortunate in that my husband also works shift work, and so I can usually pick up shifts around his schedule so we don’t need to do the daycare thing. But it’s still hard leaving the kids. Especially when they are so small. I’m with you!!
Jasmine Hewitt says
this ;post is everything. working mom guilt sucks and is very real. i work at home and i still feel guilty, even though im multitasking work with everything else
This is such a beautiful post. I wish more moms knew that their decision to go back to work or stay home is in the best interest of their child.
The dilemma and guilt of every working mother.But I agree with all your points.Every mom can not be SAHM, women need to follow their professional path too.working mother raise strong children
Elizabeth Keene says
You should never feel guilty for the decisions you make for you and your family!! You know whats best for you and yours!! Stay strong and thanks for sharing!!
Sincerely Miss J says
Great article. I am starting work soon and I am super nervous. I already have mom guilt but I know she will be well cared for while i am at work.
Janine Ella says
I love this article!!! I’m a working mom and I totally get what you’re saying. And yes, I’m with you that not all moms are meant to be SAHMs. I mean, I’m a single mom, and if I don’t work, who else would provide for my son?
Elle (CleverlyChanging) says
Your daughter is the cutest little bundle of joy ever. I understand exactly where you’re coming from. I went back to work when my kids were only 4 months old.
I love this 💜💜
Alyssa Winters says
Hi There! It is an inspiring blog. As a working mom, I agree wholeheartedly and it suggested some beautiful tips for working women. Keep posting!
I always dreamed of being a sahm. The only way that worked for my families budget was for me to babysit, work as a nanny and bring my daughter with me, and work from home on my blog. As my daughter has gotten older working from home has gotten harder. My work needs my attention and she needs kids to play with and to get outside so we decided to put her in daycare a few days a week. Today was the first day I dropped her off and she clung to me a cried for me not to go. It was so hard to walk away. Seriously I could not have found this post at a better time. I can not thank you enough for writing this because I have been a wreck with guilt and doubt today and this post has made me feel so much better ❤️