It has been 7 plus months since i returned to work after having Avery. I have been very vocal that I often feel guilty leaving my children at home, daycare or school to head off to work. This is especially true on the weekends when there are birthday parties to attend, sporting games to watch and family time that I sadly am unable to participate in because in my line of work, I have to work weekends.
I know there are many other moms out there that are experiencing this working mom guilt as well. So how to deal with working mom guilt? Here are a few things to remember next time the guilt starts kicking in as you head off to work.
You worked hard for your career
I worked hard to become a nurse. I busted my ass through nursing school, clinical and a job I didn’t love to land in my dream position I am in now. I am sure the same goes for you in whatever career you chose to chase after.
There is nothing wrong with being proud of that hard work you put into building up a career that you love. This is no way means you love your child any less.
Some moms are not meant to be SAHMs
I wrote a post about the reasons I could never be a stay at home mom, check it out HERE. Some women are just not meant for that role. I admire those moms who are SAHMs and think they probably work harder then I do at my job maintaining their children and their homes but just know that it is not for me.
Your children will see your work ethic
One of the proudest working mom moments I experienced was when Hayden was about 5 years old. I was having a conversation with an old acquaintance from high school who asked where I was working. Hayden chimes in and excitedly says “my mom works at the hospital where the ambulance goes with sick people. She takes care of people.” He was so proud when he said this and it made me feel that all the times that I had to miss a game or concert was worth it to see how proud he was of what I do (or he could have just been excited about ambulances but I like to think otherwise).
What I am getting at is your kids will see how hard you work to balance work life and home life.
You’re giving your children the opportunity to explore and grow
Putting my children in daycare has been a blessing in disguise. I have amazing daycare providers who have taught my children so much more then they could have ever learned from me. My oldest also had to learn to share and how to get along with other kids since he was an only child for 7 years. He also made friendships at daycare that he has carried into his school years.
Avery is still little but I feel that she is growing and exploring at daycare as Hayden did in his early years. I will say that with all the weekends Avery has spent one on one with her dad while I have been working has created a special bond between the two of them. I think it also has helped Aaron become an even more hands on and amazing dad then he already is.
There will always be haters
There will always be comments about how you “allow other people to raise your child” or “don’t you want to be home with your kids?” Just yesterday I posted a photo to my Instagram account talking about how I don’t want to leave my job to stay home and work a self-made business. The majority of the comments where supportive but there was one comment by a mom herself who said “I don’t know why women chose to have kids if they are just going to leave them with someone else. It makes me sad.” Did her comment hurt? Yes, a little bit. But then I remember that her judgement doesn’t mean anything. My kids are happy, healthy are surrounded by people who love them.
Somebody will always have something to say and my best advice is to say screw them. Do what is best for you and your family and don’t worry what anyone else’s opinions. Just do you.