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My Slightly Chaotic Life

Balancing Life, Children and Chaos

Parenting

How to Deal with Working Mom Guilt

February 17, 2019 Comments : 22

How to deal with working mom guilt. | Mom guilt | Working mom guilt | Working mom | Working mom advice |

It has been 7 plus months since i returned to work after having Avery. I have been very vocal that I often feel guilty leaving my children at home, daycare or school to head off to work. This is especially true on the weekends when there are birthday parties to attend, sporting games to watch and family time that I sadly am unable to participate in because in my line of work, I have to work weekends.

How to deal with working mom guilt. | Mom guilt | Working mom guilt | Working mom | Working mom advice |

I know there are many other moms out there that are experiencing this working mom guilt as well. So how to deal with working mom guilt? Here are a few things to remember next time the guilt starts kicking in as you head off to work.

You worked hard for your career

I worked hard to become a nurse. I busted my ass through nursing school, clinical and a job I didn’t love to land in my dream position I am in now. I am sure the same goes for you in whatever career you chose to chase after.

There is nothing wrong with being proud of that hard work you put into building up a career that you love. This is no way means you love your child any less.

Some moms are not meant to be SAHMs

I wrote a post about the reasons I could never be a stay at home mom, check it out HERE. Some women are just not meant for that role. I admire those moms who are SAHMs and think they probably work harder then I do at my job maintaining their children and their homes but just know that it is not for me.

Your children will see your work ethic

One of the proudest working mom moments I experienced was when Hayden was about 5 years old. I was having a conversation with an old acquaintance from high school who asked where I was working. Hayden chimes in and excitedly says “my mom works at the hospital where the ambulance goes with sick people. She takes care of people.” He was so proud when he said this and it made me feel that all the times that I had to miss a game or concert was worth it to see how proud he was of what I do (or he could have just been excited about ambulances but I like to think otherwise).

What I am getting at is your kids will see how hard you work to balance work life and home life.

You’re giving your children the opportunity to explore and grow

Putting my children in daycare has been a blessing in disguise. I have amazing daycare providers who have taught my children so much more then they could have ever learned from me. My oldest also had to learn to share and how to get along with other kids since he was an only child for 7 years. He also made friendships at daycare that he has carried into his school years.

Avery is still little but I feel that she is growing and exploring at daycare as Hayden did in his early years. I will say that with all the weekends Avery has spent one on one with her dad while I have been working has created a special bond between the two of them. I think it also has helped Aaron become an even more hands on and amazing dad then he already is.

How to deal with working mom guilt. | Mom guilt | Working mom guilt | Working mom | Working mom advice |

There will always be haters

There will always be comments about how you “allow other people to raise your child” or “don’t you want to be home with your kids?” Just yesterday I posted a photo to my Instagram account talking about how I don’t want to leave my job to stay home and work a self-made business. The majority of the comments where supportive but there was one comment by a mom herself who said “I don’t know why women chose to have kids if they are just going to leave them with someone else. It makes me sad.” Did her comment hurt? Yes, a little bit. But then I remember that her judgement doesn’t mean anything. My kids are happy, healthy are surrounded by people who love them.

Somebody will always have something to say and my best advice is to say screw them. Do what is best for you and your family and don’t worry what anyone else’s opinions. Just do you.

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Comments

  1. Cristy says

    February 17, 2019 at 10:57 am

    I love this article. It is crazy how we are expected to do it all and when we do we feel guilt about it. You are modeling such amazing behavior for your kids.

    Cristy
    https://happyfamilyblog.com

    Reply
  2. Terri Steffes says

    February 17, 2019 at 11:23 am

    I was a working mom too and raised a beautiful, successful 33-year-old daughter. Guess what? She’s planning on being a stay at home mom. Not because she felt cheated, but because she wants to. That’s all the reasons anyone needs from the outside.

    Reply
  3. Anna says

    February 17, 2019 at 4:04 pm

    I wish mom-guilt wasn’t a thing. I wish that society didn’t put so much pressure on parents to be all to everyone, especially mothers. Hopefully your post eases the guilt of the moms who read it.

    Reply
  4. Bella at Dear Mummy Blog says

    February 17, 2019 at 5:15 pm

    My mummy went back to work after six months after having me, even though it was compressed hours she felt guilty but we needed the money and it made weekends much sweeter. It’s a difficult decision and every mum is different. She’s not built for SAHM x

    Reply
  5. Michael says

    February 18, 2019 at 3:23 am

    Well, your doing this for your kid and feeling guilty won’t help so just do what you think you can and shrug maybe some side comments you may hear? But don’t skip the quality time with them.

    Reply
  6. Deb says

    February 18, 2019 at 5:44 am

    Well done for this post my darling, some mums don’t have the option to stay at home, and even if they do, they don’t want to. Everyone is different and we should celebrate that x
    Debs @ https://tiger-mint.com

    Reply
  7. Sania Ahmed says

    February 18, 2019 at 6:29 am

    Same like me I can’t imagine myself being home… Just 9 months back we got married and we are planning a baby may be after we complete a year of our marriage and I am already stressed out thinking of all these things coz i cant be at home at all. I need to do something or else i feel I am missing on something and time is running out… You are bang on mama… loads of love to you and the little ones.

    Reply
  8. Lydia Smith says

    February 18, 2019 at 11:27 am

    I can imagine what it feels like with advice and criticism here and there. Nevertheless, you did what’s best for you. I’m glad you did. The SAHM life can’t for everyone. Looking this helps all momma out there. Daycare for kids is OK.

    Reply
  9. LuciWest says

    February 18, 2019 at 3:29 pm

    It makes me so sad to think that mothers feel guilty – or worse “made to feel guilt” – either because they work outside the home or because they don’t work outside the home. Being a mother has enough challenges already – no need for extra guilt. Great that you put together such an inspiring post!

    Reply
  10. Maggie Unzueta says

    February 18, 2019 at 3:57 pm

    This is a very inspiring blog for working moms! Thank you for sharing.

    Reply
  11. Rachel says

    February 18, 2019 at 5:43 pm

    This is so honest and interesting to read. I can imagine there are a lot of working mums out there who agree with you and feel the same.

    Reply
  12. Megan Kerry says

    February 18, 2019 at 8:08 pm

    Hey Girl! I’m also a nurse and I completely understand the struggle between being a mom, and being pulled to your career! Nursing school really is one of the most difficult things I’ve accomplished in my adult life, and I am so proud of myself that I made it all the way through and begun my career. I am pretty fortunate in that my husband also works shift work, and so I can usually pick up shifts around his schedule so we don’t need to do the daycare thing. But it’s still hard leaving the kids. Especially when they are so small. I’m with you!!

    Reply
  13. Jasmine Hewitt says

    February 18, 2019 at 8:52 pm

    this ;post is everything. working mom guilt sucks and is very real. i work at home and i still feel guilty, even though im multitasking work with everything else

    Reply
  14. Mickal says

    February 18, 2019 at 9:49 pm

    This is such a beautiful post. I wish more moms knew that their decision to go back to work or stay home is in the best interest of their child.

    Reply
  15. Sudipa says

    February 18, 2019 at 11:31 pm

    The dilemma and guilt of every working mother.But I agree with all your points.Every mom can not be SAHM, women need to follow their professional path too.working mother raise strong children

    Reply
  16. Elizabeth Keene says

    February 18, 2019 at 11:54 pm

    You should never feel guilty for the decisions you make for you and your family!! You know whats best for you and yours!! Stay strong and thanks for sharing!!

    Reply
  17. Sincerely Miss J says

    February 19, 2019 at 9:13 am

    Great article. I am starting work soon and I am super nervous. I already have mom guilt but I know she will be well cared for while i am at work.

    Reply
  18. Janine Ella says

    February 19, 2019 at 5:52 pm

    I love this article!!! I’m a working mom and I totally get what you’re saying. And yes, I’m with you that not all moms are meant to be SAHMs. I mean, I’m a single mom, and if I don’t work, who else would provide for my son?

    Reply
  19. Elle (CleverlyChanging) says

    February 20, 2019 at 7:48 am

    Your daughter is the cutest little bundle of joy ever. I understand exactly where you’re coming from. I went back to work when my kids were only 4 months old.

    Reply
  20. Lisa says

    March 5, 2019 at 2:26 pm

    I love this 💜💜

    Reply
  21. Alyssa Winters says

    May 27, 2019 at 9:04 am

    Hi There! It is an inspiring blog. As a working mom, I agree wholeheartedly and it suggested some beautiful tips for working women. Keep posting!

    Reply
  22. Sierrah says

    June 19, 2019 at 1:45 pm

    I always dreamed of being a sahm. The only way that worked for my families budget was for me to babysit, work as a nanny and bring my daughter with me, and work from home on my blog. As my daughter has gotten older working from home has gotten harder. My work needs my attention and she needs kids to play with and to get outside so we decided to put her in daycare a few days a week. Today was the first day I dropped her off and she clung to me a cried for me not to go. It was so hard to walk away. Seriously I could not have found this post at a better time. I can not thank you enough for writing this because I have been a wreck with guilt and doubt today and this post has made me feel so much better ❤️

    Reply

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Hi! I'm Danielle. I'm a mom, girlfriend and ED nurse. I love sharing my honest take on all things mom as well as life!

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Taking a much needed break while the toddler naps Taking a much needed break while the toddler naps to just breathe. Chasing her around all day can be absolutely exhausting which means by the time I get to sit for a minute I am starving! 

@dunkin has me covered with a little afternoon pick me up with their delicious coffee and a new Snackin’ Menu. You can choose from stuffed croissants, stuffed bagel minis, a gluten-free brownie and Snackin’ Bacon available for a limited time at select locations! 
Pair these with your favorite coffee, my current fav is the Explorer Blend, for the perfect combination. So whether you are on the go or taking a mini afternoon break, make sure to grab something from the @dunkin Snackin’ Menu! 

Any guesses on how long my toddler break will last? I’ll give you a hint; not long! #toddlermomlife 
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#dunkinmaine 
#dunkinpartner 
#dunkin
Happy thirty-something birthday to me!! Birthdays Happy thirty-something birthday to me!!

Birthdays used to be a big deal to me, now not so much. Getting older was scary but as the years have gone on, I look at another year older means another year of growth. 

Growing as a person, a mom, a friend, a wife, and growing in my own personal goals. My life is pretty damn good and I am loving every second of growing older with the amazing people around me. So cheers to another year around the sun! 

Also, getting a photo with balloons is about as hard as getting a photo with your children just in case anyone was wondering! ❤️
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Anyone else hate when their toddler uses their clo Anyone else hate when their toddler uses their clothing to blow their nose?! Fully prepared for cold and flu season over here with the help of @scottiestissues. (ad)

The extra strength and softness as well as the beautiful prints and patterns help this mama keep the sniffles at pay. Especially with this little one of mine who is constantly trying to wipe her nose on just about everything.
 
Looking to prepare you and your family for the cold and flu season? Check out my latest blog post (link in bio) on tips to do just that!

Double tap if your toddler does the same thing! I can’t have the only one 😆
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#TripleSoftProtectionSquad
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Sunday’s are for being lazy, well as lazy as you Sunday’s are for being lazy, well as lazy as you can be when your solo parenting two kids all day and night. 

Sharing this space of my home because soon this dining room table will be replaced by what I think is the perfect new addition. But I want to remember the imperfections and memories this old one holds. Anyone else feel a sense of nostalgia about their home furniture or is it just me?

And to note the vase and fake stems are from @walmart and cost less then $10 for it all! 
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Looking to visit one near you? Here are my tips to make your visit fun and exciting.

1. Dress for the weather. Snow pants, hats, boots and warm clothing are a must. We spent over an hour there and the children only complained once they were cold.

2. Mask up. Masks are required. We took ours off briefly for the photo, making sure there was plenty of distance between us and others.

3. Book ahead. You can book your reservation online and it is highly suggested. Times sell out quickly during vacation weeks and on weekends. The day we went was sold out. 

4. Bringing a really small child? Make sure to bring a sled to pull them on or put them in a carrier. Strollers will not move through the snow and ice. 

5. Visit at night if you can. We didn’t this year but in years past we have gone at night  when the Ice Castles are lit up with lights making it that more magical. 

Lastly, have fun and stop by the little fire pits set up throughout to warm up.

Have you been to the @icecastles_ this year? What did you think?!
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Focusing on the good versus the bad and the things that I can control. Applying this daily to my relationships, parenting and work life. 
Choosing the right things to spend my energy on in my day to day life has made all the difference in my own personal happiness. 

So how are you choosing to spend your energy in your own life? 
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I love how much they love each other and want to spend time together despite their age gap (almost 7 years). 
And they remind me often to celebrate our love for each other every day! ❤️

Do you celebrate Valentine’s Day? What are your plans? Swipe to see some extra cuteness from my littles! 
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I love all the benefits that raw juice provides bu I love all the benefits that raw juice provides but not the mess of making it myself! (ad) @raw_generation_juices  is helping me hit the reset button this year with their raw juice cleanses. You don’t have to be doing a juice cleanse to benefit from cold pressed juices. These juices can help you jumpstart a healthier diet, increase your fruit and veggies intake, and improve your digestion. ⁣
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My favorites; sweet roots and vanilla cashew! ⁣
Delivered right to your door with no mess , use the code DANIELLE15 to get 15% off and grab the link in my bio to shop. ⁣
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Taking a much needed break while the toddler naps Taking a much needed break while the toddler naps to just breathe. Chasing her around all day can be absolutely exhausting which means by the time I get to sit for a minute I am starving! 

@dunkin has me covered with a little afternoon pick me up with their delicious coffee and a new Snackin’ Menu. You can choose from stuffed croissants, stuffed bagel minis, a gluten-free brownie and Snackin’ Bacon available for a limited time at select locations! 
Pair these with your favorite coffee, my current fav is the Explorer Blend, for the perfect combination. So whether you are on the go or taking a mini afternoon break, make sure to grab something from the @dunkin Snackin’ Menu! 

Any guesses on how long my toddler break will last? I’ll give you a hint; not long! #toddlermomlife 
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
#dunkinmaine 
#dunkinpartner 
#dunkin
Happy thirty-something birthday to me!! Birthdays Happy thirty-something birthday to me!!

Birthdays used to be a big deal to me, now not so much. Getting older was scary but as the years have gone on, I look at another year older means another year of growth. 

Growing as a person, a mom, a friend, a wife, and growing in my own personal goals. My life is pretty damn good and I am loving every second of growing older with the amazing people around me. So cheers to another year around the sun! 

Also, getting a photo with balloons is about as hard as getting a photo with your children just in case anyone was wondering! ❤️
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
#birthdaycelebrations 
#thirtysomething 
#thirtyflirtyandthriving 
#itsamomthing
Anyone else hate when their toddler uses their clo Anyone else hate when their toddler uses their clothing to blow their nose?! Fully prepared for cold and flu season over here with the help of @scottiestissues. (ad)

The extra strength and softness as well as the beautiful prints and patterns help this mama keep the sniffles at pay. Especially with this little one of mine who is constantly trying to wipe her nose on just about everything.
 
Looking to prepare you and your family for the cold and flu season? Check out my latest blog post (link in bio) on tips to do just that!

Double tap if your toddler does the same thing! I can’t have the only one 😆
 .
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
#TripleSoftProtectionSquad
#healthykids
#motherhoodmoments 
#raisingtinyhumans 
#toddlerhood
Sunday’s are for being lazy, well as lazy as you Sunday’s are for being lazy, well as lazy as you can be when your solo parenting two kids all day and night. 

Sharing this space of my home because soon this dining room table will be replaced by what I think is the perfect new addition. But I want to remember the imperfections and memories this old one holds. Anyone else feel a sense of nostalgia about their home furniture or is it just me?

And to note the vase and fake stems are from @walmart and cost less then $10 for it all! 
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
#homedecorinspo 
#diningroomideas 
#simplehomestyle 
#cornerofmyhouse 
#walmartfinds
#squaresofmeandmine
Our @icecastles_ adventure was a success! The kids Our @icecastles_ adventure was a success! The kids loved all the fun ice slides, hidden pathways and thousands upon thousands of icicles frozen together to create this winter escape.
Looking to visit one near you? Here are my tips to make your visit fun and exciting.

1. Dress for the weather. Snow pants, hats, boots and warm clothing are a must. We spent over an hour there and the children only complained once they were cold.

2. Mask up. Masks are required. We took ours off briefly for the photo, making sure there was plenty of distance between us and others.

3. Book ahead. You can book your reservation online and it is highly suggested. Times sell out quickly during vacation weeks and on weekends. The day we went was sold out. 

4. Bringing a really small child? Make sure to bring a sled to pull them on or put them in a carrier. Strollers will not move through the snow and ice. 

5. Visit at night if you can. We didn’t this year but in years past we have gone at night  when the Ice Castles are lit up with lights making it that more magical. 

Lastly, have fun and stop by the little fire pits set up throughout to warm up.

Have you been to the @icecastles_ this year? What did you think?!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
#newenglandliving 
#icecastles 
#lifewithatoddler 
#adventureswithkids 
#newengland_igers
#mylittlestolove
Living this mantra more and more. Picking and choo Living this mantra more and more. Picking and choosing what to spend my energy on in order to stay sane these days. 
Focusing on the good versus the bad and the things that I can control. Applying this daily to my relationships, parenting and work life. 
Choosing the right things to spend my energy on in my day to day life has made all the difference in my own personal happiness. 

So how are you choosing to spend your energy in your own life? 
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

#motivationalwords 
#motherhoodgoals 
#dailyliving 
#quotestoinspire 
#inspirationalpost
Happy love day from my cutest little Valentine’s Happy love day from my cutest little Valentine’s. 
I love how much they love each other and want to spend time together despite their age gap (almost 7 years). 
And they remind me often to celebrate our love for each other every day! ❤️

Do you celebrate Valentine’s Day? What are your plans? Swipe to see some extra cuteness from my littles! 
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

#lifewithkids 
#raisinglittles 
#raisethemkind 
#motherhoodmoments 
#mynameismama
I love all the benefits that raw juice provides bu I love all the benefits that raw juice provides but not the mess of making it myself! (ad) @raw_generation_juices  is helping me hit the reset button this year with their raw juice cleanses. You don’t have to be doing a juice cleanse to benefit from cold pressed juices. These juices can help you jumpstart a healthier diet, increase your fruit and veggies intake, and improve your digestion. ⁣
⁣
My favorites; sweet roots and vanilla cashew! ⁣
Delivered right to your door with no mess , use the code DANIELLE15 to get 15% off and grab the link in my bio to shop. ⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
#rawgenerationjuices 
#healthymommy ⁣
#busymoms ⁣
#momlifestyle
Follow Me on Instagram
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