• Home
  • About Me
  • Contact
  • Legalities
  • Categories
    • Parenting
    • Lifestyle
    • Holiday Ideas
    • Healthy Living Tips
    • Beauty Tips for Women
    • Travel

My Slightly Chaotic Life

Balancing Life, Children and Chaos

Parenting

How to Survive Co-Parenting with a Narcissist

June 25, 2020 Comments : 3

I recently recieved a e-mail from my son’s father, my ex-husband. The e-mail began “while I’m thinking about, just wanted to let you know” and it went into something that I did wrong or didn’t do when it came to parenting. Somthing silly or so trivial that you wouldn’t even think about it. This time, it was about underwear. Let me repeat that; underwear. How our son hadn’t been wearing underwear the last few times that he had gone to his dad’s house. When you call him out on it being a ridiculous thing to be upset about and how it was more then likely so far from the truth, you get told he is just trying to “co parent” and you’re not being receptive to it. This is exaclty what it is like when co-parenting with a narcissist.

So what is a narcissist? Narcissism is generally defined by the inability to handle any sort of criticism, an excessive need for admiration, and take advantage of others to get ahead. You can learn more about narcissistic personality disorder HERE. Having a relationship with a narcissist is difficult enough but co-parenting with a narcissist is a whole different ballgame.

So how do you survive co-parenting with a narcissist?

Act Neutral

HAve you heard the term “act like a gray rock.” Essentially you become boring and uninteresting that they will take their need for drama and attention elsewhere. Even if they accuse you or something, you agree or be unresponsive making it harder for them to project onto you whatever it is they are feeling.

For example, in the e-mail I mentioned above, my ex-husband started picking apart the date I had put in the e-mail subject line. It was a honest typo on my behalf. When he started to beome really upset about what I was responding to him he writes “Just to clarify the date is… there are only 30 days in June,” followed up with “I get it, dates are hard.” I simply apologized and said it was an honest mistake. No reson to get upset because at this point it was just an insult meant to belittle me in order to acheive validation within himself.

If you want to learn more about the Gray Rock method check out more information HERE.

Remain Calm

Do your very best to remain calm when co parenting with a narcissist. It’s not going to be easy and there will be many times that you will have to bitr your tongue so hard that it bleeds but I can gaurantee you that you will get nowhere and only fuel their fire some more.

Don’t React

This goes a long with remaining clam.

As hard as it might be, don’t react to the other person. If you recieve an e-mail or text from them let it sit for a while before responding. Especially if it’s something that is meant to be degrading and rude. Once you’ve had time to think, then respond. Your gut reaction will be to get upset and immediately send something back.

Remember, this isn’t about you

This is about the other person’s need to feel better then you and to get a reaction. People who are are narcissistic will have the need to belittle, intimidate or bully you in order to boost their own self worth. This is a flaw in them and not you. Don’t bring yourself down to their level and know no matter what they say about you, you are better then them.

Wondering how to survive co parenting with a narcissisit? Here are ways to get through it with your sanity intact. | Co parenting | Narcissist | Relationships |

Support your child

As challenging as it may be to co parent, it is also equally challenging for your child. They think the world of and love the other parent despite what you may be going through. Seek counseling if needed for your child to help them work through what they may be feeling. Most importantly, never ever talk bad about the other parent in front of the child. The narcissistic parent will only try and use that against you.

Document everything

Every conversation, drop off, pick up, interaction, document it. I even go as far as to document when I recieve child support and take pictures of the check and the envelope it comes in. Documenting things will only benefit you in the long run if and when an issue arises.

Take care of yourself

A big factor in surviving co-parenting with a narcissist is to take care of yourself. Practice some self care in whatever form you need to. When you feel good in both your body and mind, you can get through whatever the narcissist throws at you.

What tips do you have to co-parent with a difficult ex? Let me know in the comments below!

Share this...
Pin on Pinterest
Pinterest
Share on Facebook
Facebook
Tweet about this on Twitter
Twitter
Previous:
Summer Bucket List Ideas
Next:
Best Hikes in Acadia National Park with Kids

Comments

  1. Audrey at Two Pink Peonies says

    July 9, 2020 at 12:59 pm

    I’m so lucky I’m not facing this but one of my friends is facing such drama and she could actually use this advice!

    Reply
  2. Jennifer Van Haitsma says

    July 9, 2020 at 2:24 pm

    I am still with my kids’ father, so no real advice, but I feel everyone knows THAT person. It’s so annoying!

    Reply
  3. Sara says

    July 9, 2020 at 11:55 pm

    These are great thoughts to help other people in this situation.

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Recipe Rating




About Me

Hello

Hi! I'm Danielle. I'm a mom, girlfriend and ED nurse. I love sharing my honest take on all things mom as well as life!

Let’s Connect

Featured Posts

At home date night ideas

At Home Date Night Ideas

Things to let go of this New Year

Things to Let go of this New Year

Silver lining to 2020? What it has taught me about life. Here is what 2020 taught me about life.

What 2020 Has Taught Me

Categories

  • Beauty Tips for Women
  • Healthy Living Tips
  • Holiday Ideas
  • Home Decor
  • Lifestyle
  • Mom Life
  • Parenting
  • Pregnancy
  • Recipes
  • Travel
  • Uncategorized

Search

Archives

🍿 It’s National Popcorn Day! ❤️⁣ ⁣ An 🍿 It’s National Popcorn Day! ❤️⁣
⁣
Anyone else have children that fight over the bowl of popcorn?! ⁣
We are celebrating National Popcorn Day (who knew that was actually a thing?!) with you guessed it; homemade popcorn!⁣
It is one of our go to snacks and a must every time we go to the movies! ⁣
⁣
Anyone else have kids that are obsessed with popcorn?! ⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
Follow along with the hashtag #MamasWhoHoliday to see all the things me and some of my favorite mamas come up with to celebrate all these fun and different holidays! 😄 ⁣
⁣
If you’d like to join in on the fun, post your own photo and use our hashtag so we can check it out! ❤️⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
#momswhoblog ⁣
#lifewithlittles ⁣
#motherhoodlens ⁣
#motherhoodlife
Anyone else feel like they are constantly chasing Anyone else feel like they are constantly chasing around a toddler in the mornings? Thankfully @Dunkin is helping me have a little bit more energy with their Extra Charged Coffee. Just in time to keep up with this very busy lady and if you couldn’t tell she loves mornings as much as I do.⁣
 ⁣
The extra caffeine (20% to be exact) is derived from green coffee extract giving that extra boost of energy! It is available in hot or iced and through January 16, a medium is only $2. So, head to @Dunkin to try it out today.!⁣
How are you getting your energy boost to keep up with your busy lifestyle?⁣
 ⁣
 ⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
#DunkinMaine⁣
#DunkinPartner
#momlifestyle 
#motherhoodunfiltered 
#coffeemom
Raise your hand if you love salsa! 🙋🏻‍♀️⁣
Our family uses salsa on just about everything from tacos to omelets. Our go to salsa? @freshcravingssalsa ⁣
⁣
Made from small batch recipes with vine ripened tomatoes and hand cut vegetables, @freshcravingssalsa is a smooth blend of authentic, bold flavors. So good even my kids love it! ⁣
You can find Fresh Cravings In the dips and dressing section of the produce aisle at your local Walmart or grocery store. ⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
#freshcravings ⁣
#salsabrate2021 ⁣
#freshcravingssalsa ⁣
#healthyjourney ⁣
#easysnackideas
9 + years since my first was born and almost 3 sin 9 + years since my first was born and almost 3 since my second and I have to say I still have no idea what I’m doing when it comes to parenting. ⁣
⁣
The great thing is; these two have no idea that most days I’m just winging it. Now more then ever, it’s important we admit to ourselves this motherhood thing is hard and as long as we keep the small humans happy and fed we are totally winning at this #momlife ⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
#thisismotherhood ⁣
#thisisparenthood ⁣
#momlifeunfiltered ⁣
#motherhoodintheraw ⁣
#mombloggers
Grateful Warrior; a print from the lovely and tale Grateful Warrior; a print from the lovely and talented @lindsey.erin. A wonderful artist (for real check out her stuff) and person who inspires me daily with her creativity and positivity. ⁣
⁣
This print means so many different things to me in this season of my life. ⁣
It’s a reminder that I am a strong woman who doesn’t give up easily. Someone who aspires to do more, be more. As a partner, mother, friend. ⁣
⁣
It’s also a reminder to be grateful for the opportunities I have and the power of my light I send out into this world. I glance at it everyday, hanging in my office reminding me to be the grateful warrior that I am.⁣
What is inspiring you during this time in your life? ⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
#fineartprints ⁣
#maineartist ⁣
#motivatedmindset ⁣
#motherhoodunfiltered
Getting organized is on my to do list this year be Getting organized is on my to do list this year because if I’m being honest my life is a mess most days. ⁣
⁣
@zulily has everything I need to do just that. From now until Friday, they have amazing deals on items to help you get more organized in every aspect of your home. Check out my stories for all my favorite organization items and where you can grab them! ⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
#zulilyfinds ⁣
#organizedhome ⁣
#realmomlife ⁣
#organizedhome
It’s a New Year and all I’ve managed to do tod It’s a New Year and all I’ve managed to do today is take this photo and drink some wine so I would say I’m already winning at 2021.⁣
⁣
Here’s to a better year then last. Cheers! ⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
#newyearsgoals⁣
#bye2020⁣
#mamaneedswine⁣
#momlifeunfiltered⁣
#mombloggerlife
We are officially closing out this year!!⁣ 2020 We are officially closing out this year!!⁣
2020 was a year full of many challenges but it held some amazing moments and opportunities as well. ⁣
⁣
We took a fun, much needed vacation at the beginning of the year with @carnival cruise line, got married @samosetresort on a whim, personally I grew my blog and met some pretty large goals I had set for myself this year and the kids stayed happy and healthy. So even with the bad, there was a lot of good.⁣
⁣
I’m hopeful that this New Year will bring even more opportunities and chances to grow and be a little less hard on others. ⁣
What are you hopeful for this New Year?⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
#newyeariscoming ⁣
#bye2020 ⁣
#lifestyleblogger ⁣
#momlifestyle ⁣
#motherhoodlens ⁣
⁣
Follow Me on Instagram

Tags

Baby baby items birth Breastfeeding cesarean section Children Christmas Family travel Fitness Fourth trimester Goals Happiness Healthy Healthy Kids Healthy lifestyle Healthy Living Holiday Home Home decor Kids Life changes Lifestyle Lose weight Maine Maine Living Mom mom essentials mom life motherhood Motherhood unplugged moving forward new baby New England living New England travel new mom New Year Parenting pregnancy preparing for baby Relationships second child Toddler Travel Weight Loss Working mom
🍿 It’s National Popcorn Day! ❤️⁣ ⁣ An 🍿 It’s National Popcorn Day! ❤️⁣
⁣
Anyone else have children that fight over the bowl of popcorn?! ⁣
We are celebrating National Popcorn Day (who knew that was actually a thing?!) with you guessed it; homemade popcorn!⁣
It is one of our go to snacks and a must every time we go to the movies! ⁣
⁣
Anyone else have kids that are obsessed with popcorn?! ⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
Follow along with the hashtag #MamasWhoHoliday to see all the things me and some of my favorite mamas come up with to celebrate all these fun and different holidays! 😄 ⁣
⁣
If you’d like to join in on the fun, post your own photo and use our hashtag so we can check it out! ❤️⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
#momswhoblog ⁣
#lifewithlittles ⁣
#motherhoodlens ⁣
#motherhoodlife
Anyone else feel like they are constantly chasing Anyone else feel like they are constantly chasing around a toddler in the mornings? Thankfully @Dunkin is helping me have a little bit more energy with their Extra Charged Coffee. Just in time to keep up with this very busy lady and if you couldn’t tell she loves mornings as much as I do.⁣
 ⁣
The extra caffeine (20% to be exact) is derived from green coffee extract giving that extra boost of energy! It is available in hot or iced and through January 16, a medium is only $2. So, head to @Dunkin to try it out today.!⁣
How are you getting your energy boost to keep up with your busy lifestyle?⁣
 ⁣
 ⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
#DunkinMaine⁣
#DunkinPartner
#momlifestyle 
#motherhoodunfiltered 
#coffeemom
Raise your hand if you love salsa! 🙋🏻‍♀️⁣
Our family uses salsa on just about everything from tacos to omelets. Our go to salsa? @freshcravingssalsa ⁣
⁣
Made from small batch recipes with vine ripened tomatoes and hand cut vegetables, @freshcravingssalsa is a smooth blend of authentic, bold flavors. So good even my kids love it! ⁣
You can find Fresh Cravings In the dips and dressing section of the produce aisle at your local Walmart or grocery store. ⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
#freshcravings ⁣
#salsabrate2021 ⁣
#freshcravingssalsa ⁣
#healthyjourney ⁣
#easysnackideas
9 + years since my first was born and almost 3 sin 9 + years since my first was born and almost 3 since my second and I have to say I still have no idea what I’m doing when it comes to parenting. ⁣
⁣
The great thing is; these two have no idea that most days I’m just winging it. Now more then ever, it’s important we admit to ourselves this motherhood thing is hard and as long as we keep the small humans happy and fed we are totally winning at this #momlife ⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
#thisismotherhood ⁣
#thisisparenthood ⁣
#momlifeunfiltered ⁣
#motherhoodintheraw ⁣
#mombloggers
Grateful Warrior; a print from the lovely and tale Grateful Warrior; a print from the lovely and talented @lindsey.erin. A wonderful artist (for real check out her stuff) and person who inspires me daily with her creativity and positivity. ⁣
⁣
This print means so many different things to me in this season of my life. ⁣
It’s a reminder that I am a strong woman who doesn’t give up easily. Someone who aspires to do more, be more. As a partner, mother, friend. ⁣
⁣
It’s also a reminder to be grateful for the opportunities I have and the power of my light I send out into this world. I glance at it everyday, hanging in my office reminding me to be the grateful warrior that I am.⁣
What is inspiring you during this time in your life? ⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
#fineartprints ⁣
#maineartist ⁣
#motivatedmindset ⁣
#motherhoodunfiltered
Getting organized is on my to do list this year be Getting organized is on my to do list this year because if I’m being honest my life is a mess most days. ⁣
⁣
@zulily has everything I need to do just that. From now until Friday, they have amazing deals on items to help you get more organized in every aspect of your home. Check out my stories for all my favorite organization items and where you can grab them! ⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
#zulilyfinds ⁣
#organizedhome ⁣
#realmomlife ⁣
#organizedhome
It’s a New Year and all I’ve managed to do tod It’s a New Year and all I’ve managed to do today is take this photo and drink some wine so I would say I’m already winning at 2021.⁣
⁣
Here’s to a better year then last. Cheers! ⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
#newyearsgoals⁣
#bye2020⁣
#mamaneedswine⁣
#momlifeunfiltered⁣
#mombloggerlife
We are officially closing out this year!!⁣ 2020 We are officially closing out this year!!⁣
2020 was a year full of many challenges but it held some amazing moments and opportunities as well. ⁣
⁣
We took a fun, much needed vacation at the beginning of the year with @carnival cruise line, got married @samosetresort on a whim, personally I grew my blog and met some pretty large goals I had set for myself this year and the kids stayed happy and healthy. So even with the bad, there was a lot of good.⁣
⁣
I’m hopeful that this New Year will bring even more opportunities and chances to grow and be a little less hard on others. ⁣
What are you hopeful for this New Year?⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
#newyeariscoming ⁣
#bye2020 ⁣
#lifestyleblogger ⁣
#momlifestyle ⁣
#motherhoodlens ⁣
⁣
Follow Me on Instagram
2021  Design by SkyandStars.co
Back Top