I waited more than 6 years to have another child. My son will be 8 this month, while Avery will be hitting 17 months. There are many reasons why there is such a large age gap between my children but the main one is the I ended up divorced and a single mom right before Hayden turned 5. I used to always think that I would have children close in age so that they grew up together like my sister and I did. However, the idea of having another child with my ex-husband never crossed my mind for a multitude of reasons.
When I found out the I was pregnant with Avery, I was concerned. I tend to overthink things and I was genuinely concerned that Hayden wouldn’t fare well with the addition of a new child into our crazy, little blended family. I soon found out that Hayden would do way better with this than I ever imagined and that a large age gap between my children wasn’t the end of the world.
7 Truths about a Large Age Gap
You will forget
You will forget what it is like to have a newborn. The sleepless night, the feeling of pure exhaustion, the sore body and boobs, the amount of poop that can come out of a tiny human. You will forget all of these things and once again be surprised when they happen again,
The older ones will help
The older kids help out a lot. They will play with Avery, hold her, feed her. They stop short of changing her diapers but I can’t blame them there.
Schedules will be hard
Managing a baby and older children with school schedules, activities, sports games and bed times gets a little bit tricky with a large age gaps. Being there for Hayden’s activities may mean bedtime gets pushed back for Avery. Routines and nap times become none existent when managing older children and you tend to just wing it.
Baby Items will have changed
And they will become more expensive and fancier. I was appalled at some of the items on the market for babies now. Gone are the days of bathing your child in the sink but instead a fancy temperature sensing tub has replaced it while simply listening for your child to cry has been replaced by continuous video monitoring.
The shows and songs will still be annoying
Have you heard “Baby shark doo, doo, doo.” Yeah, me too. It’s everywhere and currently Avery’s go to theme song. The songs and shows were just as annoying back when Hayden was a baby as they are now.
You’ll be more laid back
I have been way more laid back with Avery then I ever was with Hayden. I think that partially is due to being older but also knowing that I don’t have to worry about what a toddler is doing while I struggle to put the baby down for a nap.
More of your friends will have kids
I was mid-20’s when I had Hayden so the majority of my friends didn’t have kids yet. The ones that did had started early and so their kids were a little bit older then a newborn. This made my motherhood journey incredibly lonely. This time around, more of my friends had younger kids or are just starting to have kids making the mom-friend pool larger.
Hopefully this has helped some of you mamas out there wondering what it will be like to have such a large gap between your children and can take a little peace of mind away from these truths.