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My Slightly Chaotic Life

Balancing Life, Children and Chaos

Parenting

7 Truths about a Large Age Gap Between Kids

August 10, 2019 Comments : 20

I waited more than 6 years to have another child. My son will be 8 this month, while Avery will be hitting 17 months. There are many reasons why there is such a large age gap between my children but the main one is the I ended up divorced and a single mom right before Hayden turned 5. I used to always think that I would have children close in age so that they grew up together like my sister and I did. However, the idea of having another child with my ex-husband never crossed my mind for a multitude of reasons.

When I found out the I was pregnant with Avery, I was concerned. I tend to overthink things and I was genuinely concerned that Hayden wouldn’t fare well with the addition of a new child into our crazy, little blended family. I soon found out that Hayden would do way better with this than I ever imagined and that a large age gap between my children wasn’t the end of the world.

Worried about having a large age gap between children? Read 7 truths about having a large age gap between children. | Kids | Age gap | Toddler | Raising kids | Mom |

7 Truths about a Large Age Gap

You will forget

You will forget what it is like to have a newborn. The sleepless night, the feeling of pure exhaustion, the sore body and boobs, the amount of poop that can come out of a tiny human. You will forget all of these things and once again be surprised  when they happen again,

The older ones will help

The older kids help out a lot. They will play with Avery, hold her, feed her. They stop short of changing her diapers but I can’t blame them there.

Worried about having a large age gap between children? Read 7 truths about having a large age gap between children. | Kids | Age gap | Toddler | Raising kids | Mom |

Schedules will be hard

Managing a baby and older children with school schedules, activities, sports games and bed times gets a little bit tricky with a large age gaps. Being there for Hayden’s activities may mean bedtime gets pushed back for Avery. Routines and nap times become none existent when managing older children and you tend to just wing it.

Baby Items will have changed

And they will become more expensive and fancier. I was appalled at some of the items on the market for babies now. Gone are the days of bathing your child in the sink but instead a fancy temperature sensing tub has replaced it while simply listening for your child to cry has been replaced by continuous video monitoring.

Worried about having a large age gap between children? Read 7 truths about having a large age gap between children. | Kids | Age gap | Toddler | Raising kids | Mom |

The shows and songs will still be annoying

Have you heard “Baby shark doo, doo, doo.” Yeah, me too. It’s everywhere and currently Avery’s go to theme song. The songs and shows were just as annoying back when Hayden was a baby as they are now.

You’ll be more laid back

I have been way more laid back with Avery then I ever was with Hayden. I think that partially is due to being older but also knowing that I don’t have to worry about what a toddler is doing while I struggle to put the baby down for a nap.

Worried about having a large age gap between children? Read 7 truths about having a large age gap between children. | Kids | Age gap | Toddler | Raising kids | Mom |

More of your friends will have kids

I was mid-20’s when I had Hayden so the majority of my friends didn’t have kids yet. The ones that did had started early and so their kids were a little bit older then a newborn. This made my motherhood journey incredibly lonely. This time around, more of my friends had younger kids or are just starting to have kids making the mom-friend pool larger.

Hopefully this has helped some of you mamas out there wondering what it will be like to have such a large gap between your children and can take a little peace of mind away from these truths.

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Comments

  1. Sarah says

    August 11, 2019 at 2:44 am

    OMG thank you!! I have a 14 year old step-son, an 11 year old son, a 9 year old daughter, and I’m currently 19 weeks pregnant! My kids are so excited for a baby but I’m obviously nervous!

    Reply
  2. Michael says

    August 11, 2019 at 3:39 am

    The best thing there is the laid back part. So nice to see older siblings taking care of the younger ones.

    Reply
  3. Quan Tran says

    August 11, 2019 at 11:44 am

    Thanks for sharing info. I didn’t know having kids with large age gap can be challenging. Keep up the good work and great info

    Reply
  4. Krysten Quiles says

    August 11, 2019 at 12:24 pm

    My brother and I have less than 2 years between us and up until very recently it was kind of terrible. We fought like cats and dogs growing up! But now we’re friends and it’s awesome.

    Reply
  5. Crystal says

    August 11, 2019 at 6:21 pm

    I always respect mothers who have children with large age gaps! I know it can’t be easy.

    Reply
  6. Gervin Khan says

    August 12, 2019 at 4:06 am

    I feel you, I have daughter who is turning 8 years old this year and a son who is 3 years old. Sometimes having that 5 years age gap between my two kids are so difficult because they have different likes and choices but one thing I like about that gap is the older one becomes more responsible in helping you in taking care of the younger one.

    Reply
  7. Jeannette (Jay Joy) says

    August 12, 2019 at 4:12 am

    I love this truth! I have a 21-year-old, a 13-year-old, and a 10-year-old. My oldest was AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She helped me so very much.

    Reply
  8. Emily Fata says

    August 12, 2019 at 8:45 am

    As an “age gap sibling” myself, I know what you mean! My brother is 4.5 years younger than me and although we often bickered growing up, we’re inseparable now, in our 20s. I also have two step-sisters, who are much younger than me (I’m 10 years older than one and almost 12 years older than the other).

    Reply
  9. Crickette, The Things I Have to Say says

    August 12, 2019 at 10:09 am

    I have a 6 year gap with my sister… and a 10 year gap with our youngest. As the “child” yes, I’ll agree my mom had a lot of help with me. But here’s a very good plus for when your kids grow older… I think my sisters keep me young. We’re very close so even though I’m a lot older we hangout a lot. And I think cus of this I stay hip and updated cus of my younger sisters.

    Reply
  10. Farah Al Zadjaly says

    August 12, 2019 at 1:04 pm

    I can completely relate to this a bit. My sister and I have a 6 year age gap. It was difficult on my parents for a while as it was a change of life again.

    Reply
  11. tweenselmom says

    August 12, 2019 at 6:55 pm

    I miss having a baby and my daughters are teens. However, despite of my wish, we decided not to have one due to economic and age reasons.

    Reply
  12. Miljana says

    August 13, 2019 at 5:13 am

    Looks like I am going through this too in the nearest future! However, these are all lovely turns on what to expect, I love how you opened our eyes! And your family is gorgeous!

    Reply
  13. David Elliott says

    August 13, 2019 at 8:11 am

    Ir the kids can help that will be great. Of course, you are right that you will have wildly different schedules with the aging kids. And I had to laugh that you would forget the sleep deprivation but it’s so true.

    Reply
  14. Khushboo Motihar says

    August 13, 2019 at 10:34 am

    These are some useful tips for couples planning their family. Being the eldest amongst siblings, I can attest to the fact that we help out with the younger ones 🙂

    Reply
  15. Bindu Thomas says

    August 14, 2019 at 1:49 am

    True, having a big gap between kids has its own pros and cons. Either way, its hard work for mothers 🙂

    Reply
  16. Becca Talbot says

    August 14, 2019 at 6:00 am

    My brothers and I are each 2 years apart, so I guess these things weren’t really “things” for my mum. However one of my friends has a daughter who’s 15 and the next daughter is 9, which I think is quite a big age gap x

    Reply
  17. dreaming.loud says

    August 14, 2019 at 11:05 pm

    Nice blog..! Even though I haven’t experienced that yet I can really understand what you are going through by the way you write things.. 😊

    Reply
  18. Geneviève says

    August 17, 2019 at 4:33 pm

    Nice post! I’m in the stage of whether my son is too old anyway for a sibling or if we should just go ahead and have a second child. He’s only 4 now but when a new baby comes he’ll be well around 5 or more. It’s a big decision…great blog. I’m at oh boy, it’s a baby blog if you’d like to hop over there for a read.x

    Reply
  19. Liz Alexander says

    June 10, 2020 at 7:04 pm

    Hi Danielle, This is actually super helpful– thank you. I currently have an 8 year old and my s.o. and I are planning to become pregnant in the fall. This means my first born will be 9 when the baby is born. It is nothing like I ever thought my adult life would be but here we are. I have a feeling my oldest is going to be obsessed with his little sibling. But I still have my fears. Thank you for sharing about your experience and helping me chill out a bit. 🙂

    Reply
    • myslightlychaoticlife says

      June 14, 2020 at 8:16 pm

      I am so happy that this is helpful to you! The nice thing about such a large gap in age is that your oldest will want to be helpful and protective of their little sibling. I was so scared but the bond my son has with my now 2 year old is amazing. I even have to remind him sometimes that he is the brother and not the parent! Good luck and congrats on your soon to be little one!

      Reply

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Hi! I'm Danielle. I'm a mom, wife and ED nurse. I love sharing my honest take on being a mom, traveling with kids and lifestyle content.

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This pregnancy has been so hard on my body and mind and I have never felt more alone. Maybe because I’m just trying to out a smile on and be happy but most days I’m struggling. Pregnancy after loss is a constant state of anxiety. Filled with feelings of being scared to become too connected with this baby out of fear of something going wrong. 
But I’m trying and with every passing week my heart relaxes just a little bit more. So here’s to the final stretch, the third trimester and to all the other mamas out there struggling with similar feelings I’m sending you so much love. ❤️
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
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#pregnancyjourney #pregnantmama #thirdtrimester #pregnancyafterloss #pregnancyaftermiscarriage #honestmom #motherhoodunfiltered #motherhoodunplugged #mainemom
I don’t know about you but I always have the har I don’t know about you but I always have the hardest time shopping for the men in my life! 
With Father’s Day just around the corner, the perfect gift idea is from @picturesongold. With high quality photo laser engraving and fully customizable, it makes the perfect sentimental gift for the dad in your life. Learn more over @picturesongold! 

I would love to know your Father’s Days plan this year and how you are celebrating! 
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
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.
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#fathersdaygifts #fathersday2022 #giftideasforhim #mombloggers #motherhoodthroughig #celebratedad #parentinglife
Looking for an afternoon pick me up after chasing Looking for an afternoon pick me up after chasing the kids around all day during summer break? (#ad) 
My go to: the New Mango Pineapple Refresher from @dunkin. 
With the summer time flavors of Mango and Pineapple fruit flavors you can combine them with Green Tea, Coconutmilk, or Lemonade to keep you cool and refreshed all summer long. 
Want an even sweeter deal? Sign up to be a Dunkin’ Perks member and earn rewards for your purchases as well as one free medium Dunkin’ Refresher as a new Perks Member. 
Refreshers available through August 16th or while supplies last! 

What’s your summer plans look like? Any fun plans happening this year? 
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
#dunkinmaine #dunkinpartner #maineliving #mainetheway #lifeofamom #summervibes☀️ #momhood #momlifestyle #newenglandblogger #mainemom #summerinmaine
Screen time but make it educational and fun! (#ad) Screen time but make it educational and fun! (#ad)
@readingeggs is our go to program to help our four year old learn to read. It was developed by highly experienced team of elementary school teachers, writers and developers to help children become fluent and proficient readers. Using a wide range of activities that feel like games, it will keep your busy child interested. 
Reading Eggs can also encourage parents to help children continue to learn over summer break! You can get @readingeggs with a free trial for 30 days and if you get a paid subscription, an accelerated 10-week Reading Eggs and Math Seeds online summer school is included. This is the perfect program for kindergarten to 3rd grade. To learn more, make sure to check out my stories and get your free trial today! 
.
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.
.
.
.
.
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.
.
.
#readingeggs #learntoread #eggsplorer #toddlermomlife #schoolfromhome #parentingblogger #kidslearning #earlyeducation #kidsactivities #momlifestyle #momblogs #motherhoodalive
I hate this world that my children are growing up I hate this world that my children are growing up in. My heart sinks a little every time I send them off to school or daycare, terrified that something out of my control will happen to them. I can control what they eat, what they watch, who they play with to an extent but I can’t control the unknown. And right now raising children feels a little like walking into the unknown. 

So where do we go from here?
How do we teach our children about kindness, forgiveness and trust when society these days is throwing the exact opposite in their faces? How do we raise children and make them feel safe in a world that feels so heavy? In the last 24 hours I’ve thought to myself, this could be my children and the pain that goes along with just that thought is not even comparable to the pain the families who sent their children off to school to never come home are feeling right now. The sad truth though is that the next time it could be my children, your children, our community, our schools that are effected by a tragedy like this. 
As a parent this is the most terrifying thought of all. 

 Holding my children a little tighter today and every day because this world is an unpredictable place and holding onto hope that change is coming. ❤️
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
#motherhoodunplugged #honestmom #momlifeunfiltered #raisingkids #raisinglittles #workingmom #workingmomlife #motherhoodintheraw #motherhoodunited
My favorite place in my home? My bed and @brooklin My favorite place in my home? My bed and @brooklinen has made it even more comfortable with their bedding bundles. 
Not only are they soft and feel luxurious, the price tag is  completely affordable for any budget. So if your looking to make your bed more welcoming and comfortable (since we spend about 1/3 of our lives in bed anyways!) make sure to check out @brooklinen and use the code daniellenicole to get $20 off $100 or more! 
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
#gifted #mybrooklinenstyle #cornerofmyhome #bedroominspo #bedroomstyle #mycozyhome #bedroomideas
Anyone else not a big fan of maternity clothing? Anyone else not a big fan of maternity clothing? 
I have absolutely zero desire to buy maternity clothes so seeing how long I can make what’s in my closet work for me. 
Thankful I get to live in dresses, shorts and bathing suits this summer but dreading being in my third trimester during the hottest months here in the Northeast. 
If your pregnant this summer let’s be friends! 
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
#momstyle #pregnancystyle #pregnantmama #23weekspregnant #joyfulmamas #mamaswithstyle #pregnantstyle #pregnantlife #targetstyle #targetmom #targetfinds #affordablestyle #ltkunder50 #secondtrimester
Anyone else struggle getting enough sleep? I know Anyone else struggle getting enough sleep? I know I do, especially lately.
(ad) @marlowpillow is helping me get better sleep with their cooling, memory foam pillows that are adjustable to the firmness that you like. Making my bed a cozier place to be allows me to get the rest my body is desperate for. Make sure to check out my stories to learn more! 
And the more you buy, the more you save so keep that in mind when your looking to update your space! 
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
#mycozyhome #homedecorinspo #bedroominspo #cozybedroom #pregnancylife #bettersleep #bedtimereading #momlifeunfiltered #pregnantmama #motherhoodsimplified #bedroomstyling #sleepytime
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