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My Slightly Chaotic Life

Balancing Life, Children and Chaos

Parenting

Lessons Learned by Going From One Child to Two

April 13, 2018 Comments : 14

Lessons learned from going from one child to two

While pregnant with Avery I never gave much thought to what it was going to be like going from one child to two. Mostly because Hayden is six years old and I didn’t have to worry about extra diaper changes or feedings. At six, Hayden can be pretty self sufficient when he wants to be.

Wondering what it will be like to go from one child to two? Here is the reality of adding to your family and the lessons learned. | Children | Mom of Two | Motherhood |

Problems with a Large Age Gap

When you have that that large age gap between children you tend to forget what having a newborn is like. You can read about Avery’s birth HERE. You forget about the sleep deprivation, the onslaught of postpartum emotions, the toll an infant takes on your personal sanity as well as your relationships. When thinking about going from one child to two, actually three including Aaron’s daughter, I honestly didn’t think that things would change or be different but I was completely wrong.

Not only did I have to attempt to maintain my son’s schedule: school, appointments and sports or after school activities, I now have to do it with a baby in tow. Simple trips to drop Hayden off at school have become a process to include the tiny human dependent on a car seat, breast milk and diapers. In the mornings I had to make sure Hayden got fed, ready for school in his uniform with his lunch and homework packed away in his backpack. Avery also needs to be fed and changed while I need to pump. Our morning routine has now doubled.

Lessons Learned by Going from One Child to Two

1. Keeping routine is key.

Especially with my son. He does way better when he has a routine and knows what to expect. He still has to go to school on time, be picked up on time, do his homework and have a set bedtime. This schedule is essential for his well being and just because another person has now been added to that routine doesn’t mean that he needs to deviate.

2. My son’s life has changed.

Hayden’s life changed overnight when Avery was born. It was just him in both mine and his father’s home for the past 6 years. Not only does he have to share his “mom” time with another person but he also has to become more patient and slightly more independent. He has done great adjusting to his new big brother status but I also have learned that I too need to be more patient and understanding of this adjustment in his life.

3. Parenting is more relaxed.

I’m much less anxious then I was with my first child the second time around. Maybe because I know what to expect or maybe because I know parenting a newborn can be unpredictable. I feel much more laid back then I did when Hayden was a baby. It also seems that things come a little easier this time and there isn’t such a learning curve with knowing when baby is hungry or tired. Sort of like riding a bike, but the bike is on fire and your just trying to get from point A to point B as quickly as possible. I’ve excepted that parenting can be like navigating a mine field some days.

4. Every baby is different.

Other moms will tell you this but until you have that second or third baby, you won’t believe it. Hayden was a terrible sleeper and cried non stop. He eventually grew out of this but it traumatized me enough to not want another child anytime soon after he was born. Avery is a completely different baby. She still cries and hates sleeping but overall she is much more laid back then Hayden was as a baby. Now this all might change as time goes on but for now I’ll take it.

5. My car is way too small.

I have a Subaru Impreza which I bought back in 2011 and it was perfect with one child. Now, there is a booster seat and a car seat which basically takes up the entire back seat. This means when trying to travel as a family of 5, it is either extremely crowded or impossible. I figure the time has come that I will need to make the investment into a bigger “mom mobile.” No, I don’t mean a minivan.

6. There is more then enough love in my heart to go around.

When I learned I was pregnant I had no idea how I was going to love another little person as much as I love Hayden. I soon realized that there was more then enough room in my heart for another and even better is that there is enough room in Hayden’s heart to love his sister. It’s true when they say that when you have children you feel as though a piece of your heart is living on the outside. It’s an amazing feeling to love these little people this much.

Wondering what it will be like to go from one child to two? Here is the reality of adding to your family and the lessons learned. | Children | Mom of Two | Motherhood |

What’s one thing you learned by going from one child to two? Or if a first time mom, what lessons did you learn during the first year? Let me know in the comments!

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Comments

  1. justbusylovinglife says

    April 13, 2018 at 8:29 pm

    Routine is so key when adding a second in the mix. But soon the older sibling will help entertain the younger one and it’s so wonderful! Congratulations on your beautiful family.

    Reply
    • myslightlychaoticlife says

      April 16, 2018 at 10:50 pm

      Thank you so much and yes! Routine is key. My son would not be able to function if there wasn’t routine.

      Reply
  2. April Jouas says

    April 15, 2018 at 4:32 am

    Good luck mama! I too was so traumatized from my first child’s sleep habits and behaviors that it took me 10 years to have a second. I think that my second is probably a lot like my first, but it is me that has changed and become more patient over the years.

    Reply
    • myslightlychaoticlife says

      April 16, 2018 at 10:51 pm

      I completely agree. Maybe I too have become more patient since having my first so it seems that this baby is easier.

      Reply
  3. Rose-MarieM says

    April 16, 2018 at 12:41 pm

    Love this! Yes our hearts tend to keep growing the more kiddos we have. Amazing really. I have three little kids now and you do get more relaxed the more kids you have. I’m sure three is easier than having two was! Rose @ Our House of Love

    Reply
    • myslightlychaoticlife says

      April 16, 2018 at 10:52 pm

      It is crazy how much love out hearts can hold, especially for our children! I hope that it true in case someday I decide to add a third to the mix!

      Reply
  4. jennpohlman says

    April 16, 2018 at 2:51 pm

    Congratulations, momma! Your littles are so darling! <3 I wish you all the best when you return to work in those short 9 weeks. I honestly fear how we will handle it when no. 2 comes along. I just suggest prepping as much as you can the night before (laying out clothes, packing lunches, staging all the bags you need to carry) so it's less of a scramble in the mornings…good luck and enjoy this time!

    Reply
    • myslightlychaoticlife says

      April 16, 2018 at 10:54 pm

      Such great tips! It will be hard when I go back to work and i am sure the first few weeks will really be an adjustment. Great advice to get things ready the night before. I am somewhat of a last minute gal so that has been a struggle but when I am trying to get 2 out the door it will be an absolute necessity. Thank you!

      Reply
  5. Shelley says

    April 16, 2018 at 4:59 pm

    These are great tips! I honestly never thought about preparing yourself to go from 1 to 2. It’s terrifying but sounds like you’re getting the hang of it!

    Reply
    • myslightlychaoticlife says

      April 16, 2018 at 10:55 pm

      Thank you! We are trying to get the hang of it and I am sure it will only get easier with time.

      Reply
  6. Cassie says

    April 16, 2018 at 5:35 pm

    Thank you so much for sharing this. My daughter is 3 and I’m constantly being told that I need to have another baby soon because I don’t want too much time between my children. In my eyes, you’ve proved that myth wrong.
    Congratulations on your sweet little bundle and thank you again for the advice and reminders that I so desperately needed! <3

    Reply
    • myslightlychaoticlife says

      April 16, 2018 at 10:56 pm

      Thank you! Take your time and when your ready for another then you will know. It actually is a great age difference because my son loves to help out when he can. Despite the gap, i think that him and his sister will still have a wonderful bond as they grow up together.

      Reply
  7. Kathryn says

    April 16, 2018 at 5:48 pm

    It definitely takes some adjusting to go from one child to two! My kids are 3 years apart — and I thought the adjustment would be a breeze because I assumed that my daughter would be as easy as my son was as a newborn. I have never been more wrong. But, after a while, you learn to roll with the punches. And NOTHING beats seeing your kids interacting with each other. It makes all of the stress worth it! <3

    Congratulations on your newest edition! Your kiddos are precious!! <3

    Reply
    • myslightlychaoticlife says

      April 16, 2018 at 10:58 pm

      Thank you so much! Every baby really is different and has their own little personalities. It really is the best feeling in the world to see the kids interacting with each other and forming that bond.

      Reply

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This pregnancy has been so hard on my body and mind and I have never felt more alone. Maybe because I’m just trying to out a smile on and be happy but most days I’m struggling. Pregnancy after loss is a constant state of anxiety. Filled with feelings of being scared to become too connected with this baby out of fear of something going wrong. 
But I’m trying and with every passing week my heart relaxes just a little bit more. So here’s to the final stretch, the third trimester and to all the other mamas out there struggling with similar feelings I’m sending you so much love. ❤️
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#pregnancyjourney #pregnantmama #thirdtrimester #pregnancyafterloss #pregnancyaftermiscarriage #honestmom #motherhoodunfiltered #motherhoodunplugged #mainemom
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With Father’s Day just around the corner, the perfect gift idea is from @picturesongold. With high quality photo laser engraving and fully customizable, it makes the perfect sentimental gift for the dad in your life. Learn more over @picturesongold! 

I would love to know your Father’s Days plan this year and how you are celebrating! 
.
.
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.
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.
.
.
.
.
.
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My go to: the New Mango Pineapple Refresher from @dunkin. 
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Want an even sweeter deal? Sign up to be a Dunkin’ Perks member and earn rewards for your purchases as well as one free medium Dunkin’ Refresher as a new Perks Member. 
Refreshers available through August 16th or while supplies last! 

What’s your summer plans look like? Any fun plans happening this year? 
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.
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.
.
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.
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#dunkinmaine #dunkinpartner #maineliving #mainetheway #lifeofamom #summervibes☀️ #momhood #momlifestyle #newenglandblogger #mainemom #summerinmaine
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@readingeggs is our go to program to help our four year old learn to read. It was developed by highly experienced team of elementary school teachers, writers and developers to help children become fluent and proficient readers. Using a wide range of activities that feel like games, it will keep your busy child interested. 
Reading Eggs can also encourage parents to help children continue to learn over summer break! You can get @readingeggs with a free trial for 30 days and if you get a paid subscription, an accelerated 10-week Reading Eggs and Math Seeds online summer school is included. This is the perfect program for kindergarten to 3rd grade. To learn more, make sure to check out my stories and get your free trial today! 
.
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.
.
.
#readingeggs #learntoread #eggsplorer #toddlermomlife #schoolfromhome #parentingblogger #kidslearning #earlyeducation #kidsactivities #momlifestyle #momblogs #motherhoodalive
I hate this world that my children are growing up I hate this world that my children are growing up in. My heart sinks a little every time I send them off to school or daycare, terrified that something out of my control will happen to them. I can control what they eat, what they watch, who they play with to an extent but I can’t control the unknown. And right now raising children feels a little like walking into the unknown. 

So where do we go from here?
How do we teach our children about kindness, forgiveness and trust when society these days is throwing the exact opposite in their faces? How do we raise children and make them feel safe in a world that feels so heavy? In the last 24 hours I’ve thought to myself, this could be my children and the pain that goes along with just that thought is not even comparable to the pain the families who sent their children off to school to never come home are feeling right now. The sad truth though is that the next time it could be my children, your children, our community, our schools that are effected by a tragedy like this. 
As a parent this is the most terrifying thought of all. 

 Holding my children a little tighter today and every day because this world is an unpredictable place and holding onto hope that change is coming. ❤️
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
#motherhoodunplugged #honestmom #momlifeunfiltered #raisingkids #raisinglittles #workingmom #workingmomlife #motherhoodintheraw #motherhoodunited
My favorite place in my home? My bed and @brooklin My favorite place in my home? My bed and @brooklinen has made it even more comfortable with their bedding bundles. 
Not only are they soft and feel luxurious, the price tag is  completely affordable for any budget. So if your looking to make your bed more welcoming and comfortable (since we spend about 1/3 of our lives in bed anyways!) make sure to check out @brooklinen and use the code daniellenicole to get $20 off $100 or more! 
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
#gifted #mybrooklinenstyle #cornerofmyhome #bedroominspo #bedroomstyle #mycozyhome #bedroomideas
Anyone else not a big fan of maternity clothing? Anyone else not a big fan of maternity clothing? 
I have absolutely zero desire to buy maternity clothes so seeing how long I can make what’s in my closet work for me. 
Thankful I get to live in dresses, shorts and bathing suits this summer but dreading being in my third trimester during the hottest months here in the Northeast. 
If your pregnant this summer let’s be friends! 
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
#momstyle #pregnancystyle #pregnantmama #23weekspregnant #joyfulmamas #mamaswithstyle #pregnantstyle #pregnantlife #targetstyle #targetmom #targetfinds #affordablestyle #ltkunder50 #secondtrimester
Anyone else struggle getting enough sleep? I know Anyone else struggle getting enough sleep? I know I do, especially lately.
(ad) @marlowpillow is helping me get better sleep with their cooling, memory foam pillows that are adjustable to the firmness that you like. Making my bed a cozier place to be allows me to get the rest my body is desperate for. Make sure to check out my stories to learn more! 
And the more you buy, the more you save so keep that in mind when your looking to update your space! 
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
#mycozyhome #homedecorinspo #bedroominspo #cozybedroom #pregnancylife #bettersleep #bedtimereading #momlifeunfiltered #pregnantmama #motherhoodsimplified #bedroomstyling #sleepytime
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