As I sit at my son’s baseball game looking around at all the moms chatting with their other mom friends I start to feel a little sad.
See, I’m terrible at making mom friends. Sure I have friends that have kids. I guess you could also call them my mom friends, but our children range in ages and are not always on the same sport’s teams or participate in the same activities.
In the midst of this sadness, one of the moms looked at me smiled and asked which one my son was. I pointed out Hayden and then I started having a conversation with 2 other moms. I was ecstatic. Maybe, just maybe, I was about to make some mom friends.
However, this wouldn’t be mom Fail Monday if it was that easy. (Check out my last Mom Fail Monday post HERE).
Eventually, as all these convos do, turned to what I did for work. “I’m a nurse.”
“Oh, where do you work.”
“I work in the emergency room.”
This is when the convo takes a turn and the questions such as “oh, that must be busy,” “you must see some interesting things,” “did you have to take care of that case that was mentioned in the newspaper,” “what’s the craziest thing you have ever seen?” come out.
With all eyes on me, I freeze. Naturally I’m an introvert and don’t really enjoy talking about myself and to add to that I really don’t like talking about my job with “outsiders.” No one understands your job like those that actually work in the trenches with you.
Furthermore, it is difficult to explain to stay at home moms or moms with a “regular” 9-5 weekday jobs that my schedule is in a constant state of chaos. Early mornings, late nights, weekends and holidays are just the reality for someone that works in the healthcare field.
That birthday party last weekend, yes, my son went with his grandparents because I was at work or the middle of the day concert that elementary schools are notorious for, was again missed because nurse mom can’t just leave during the middle of her work day.
Finally, even if a miracle happens and a mom wants to hang out with or without our kids I need to check the google calendar to make sure I’m not working, have a training, Hayden’s custody schedule lines up or Aaron isn’t working one of his 24 hour shifts at the fire station.
It’s exhausting.
So yes, I am a total failure at making new mom friends. I want to, I try to but in the end I fail time and time again.
So if you’re reading this, have kids (or even if you don’t), and enjoy wine, sarcasm, and inappropriate conversations; let me know. I am always in the market for new friends!
Glad that we get to be momfriends AND work in the trenches together! š
I always like your articles a lot, it doesn’t matter that I’m not a mother, they excite me the same!
Aw Mum friends are so important. Some of my best giggles are nights out with mum friends. Keep looking for those opportunities to get out together, they are worth it even if it is hard to arrange around a busy job.
You have an incredible busy life, I’m so surprised you have been able to do as much as you are now! The fact you can juggle all the pieces is an encouraging fact in itself.
it’s ok to fail and it’s awesome to have friends, a community! So very much fun! I liek your post, you are a very honest person
i really struggle with making mum friends i dont know what is stopping me really x
Making Mum friends can be hard, especially when you work and can’t easily attend playdates or parties. I don’t have many although it doesn’t bother me too much. I guess some people you just click with and some you don’t.
That must be so frustrating and disappointing for you at times. You are doing a great job though! Sending hugs your way.
Don’t worry about it, as a mum who struggles to make mum friends, I have realised that eventually you realise that you make some good ones and some you just don’t gel with. I’ve also realised that you tend to be close with the mums/dads of whomever your child is close to.
Making friends was never easy. You have to choose the right one. Sometimes it is ok being alone. Honestly, I enjoy having me time moment every day. O feel more relax.
That’s the beauty of the internet in many ways…you connect with people from all over and in a different way, yet you still make friendships. I completely understand how you feel…it’s tough juggling motherhood, work and a social life…I think we can all relate!
Awwww I loved your post! It can get a bit intimidating sometimes. But you seem to be a very nice, friendly person. Take it slowly and you will be just fine.
What a new world right here! Great read š
It is hard to make new Mum friends when everyone is so busy with their lives. Hope your schedule gets a bit easier soon
Iām the same way and we just moved. I have 0 friends yet. I have a few work spouses that my husband has wrangled for me and I am so grateful to at least have those.
Nice reading your honest confessions.