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My Slightly Chaotic Life

Balancing Life, Children and Chaos

Parenting

Procrastination, Fear and the Unknown

February 13, 2018 Comments : 2

I am not one to brag but I have this incredible skill that I have spent years cultivating. That skill is procrastination. I am amazing at putting things off till the last minute until full blown panic mood kicks in and I am furiously trying to finish whatever it is that I need to get done. This skill isn’t for everyone, after all, I do my best work under extreme pressure which has been beneficial to me throughout my many years of schooling and even now in my role as an ED nurse. For whatever reason when the time crunch is on my mind clears, calmness falls over me, and I have superhuman focus in order to complete a 20 page paper or even to save a life.

Procrastination currently though is not my friend in preparing for this baby. I am officially in the single digits of weeks left and do not even feel slightly prepared for what’s to come. Some may think; well you already have a child, you must have stuff from then but they tend to forget that when your child is 6 and you’ve gone through a divorce you get rid of stuff over the years till your left with nothing for a baby. Thankfully I have a crib (thanks to my sister), a pack and play (thanks to Aaron being on the ball) and a breast pump (thank you insurance). I also have some clothes and miscellaneous items thanks to my mom, my boyfriend’s daughter and a kind co-worker. My baby shower is next weekend which wouldn’t have even been possible if it wasn’t for 2 of my amazing friends who basically told me they were going to throw me one. So I am sure that I will get more necessary items then but other then that, besides a set of really cute ruffle sleeve onesies I purchased, I have not done much to prepare for this baby.

So why have I been procrastinating getting things together and organized because generally women are so excited when it comes to baby prepping? So while I sat in labor and delivery last night for 4 hours being monitored for contractions, I decided to take the time and reflect on why I was putting preparing for baby off and it ultimately led to the realization that it was because of fear. Fear of loss and the unknown were the two main reasons that came to mind.

My family has been through enough loss when it comes to pregnancy. I myself have personally experienced loss with my first pregnancy and was there for another family member when she experienced her own personal loss as well. This has made me reluctant to be excited about this pregnancy because I am terrified that it will end without a healthy baby in my arms coming home with us. I had a grief counselor tell me that when you lose your parents you lose your past but when you lose your child you lose your future which at that time was exactly how I felt; that I had lost what was to come. I’m scared to prepare for a future that may not happen.

IMG_0289
My rainbow baby who is now just as adorable at the age of 6

Early on in my second trimester I was told my c-section scar was thinning which could lead to a number of complications with the pregnancy as well as labor. Since then I have had one maternal fetal medicine doctor tell me I would require an early c-section, another one say that things looked stable and I could possibly have a c-section closer to 39 weeks, while the last one gave me hope that I could have the VBAC I had dreamed of. All these mixed opinions have caused me to be afraid of what is still unknown. We may not fully know the state of my previous scar until I deliver this baby, one way or another, but until then I’m scared of what that unknown can lead to and the complications that could arise.

Coming to these realizations were not easy nor is sharing them with the world. Hopefully now I can stop procrastinating and get working on preparing myself mentally and physically for this baby. If that fails, I will wait till the last minute like I do with so many other things and run around like a crazy lady trying to prepare what I’m sure I could pull off to be a fabulous nursery.

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Co Parenting: What Not to Do
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Comments

  1. kristinmoras says

    February 14, 2018 at 9:47 am

    Hang in there mama! I know that feeling of fear too. I just had a repeat cesarean too after hoping for a VBAC. They realized my scar was thin also and so I was delivered at 39weeks. It’s so scary, the unknown, but try to get your mind off of it with self-care and surrounding yourself with family and friends. Soon you’ll be holding your precious little babe! ♡

    Reply
  2. myslightlychaoticlife says

    February 15, 2018 at 8:36 pm

    Thank you so much! It’s scary to not know what’s going on and feels like it’s just a waiting game. I’m happy you had a safe delivery of your baby even though it wasn’t what you were hoping for. Healthy baby and mom is all that matters in the end!

    Reply

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Hi! I'm Danielle. I'm a mom, wife and ED nurse. I love sharing my honest take on being a mom, traveling with kids and lifestyle content.

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#momhumor #funnymom #momlifebelike #momlifeunfiltered #adulting #mommemes
Today is the day!! (5/23) Grab yourself an iced co Today is the day!! (5/23) Grab yourself an iced coffee from @dunkin and for every iced coffee sold at participating locations, $1 will be donated to the Dunkin’ @joyinchildhood Foundation. (#ad). 
The Dunkin’ Joy In Childhood Foundation brings joy to kids at local hospitals. 
For those in Maine, that’s The Barbara Bush Children’s Hospital at Maine Medical Center, St. Mary’s Regional Medical Center, and Northern Light Eastern Maine Medical Center. So grab an iced coffee today from Dunkin’ and spread some joy to local children! 

Excludes Cold Brew and Nitro Cold Brew. 
#dunkinmaine #dunkinpartner #bringjoy
.
.
.
.
.
.
#busymom #busymomlife #mainemom #mainelife #mainething #momlifestyle #coffeelove
I swear he secretly loves the chaos that I create. I swear he secretly loves the chaos that I create. We are complete opposites but it works. He loves calm and I apparently love mayhem.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
#marriedlife #marriagehumor #husbandandwife #marriagememes #hubbyandwifey #newreel
There are many things that I like to do to keep my There are many things that I like to do to keep my cool during the crazy days with 3 kids, and one is to always be sipping on a Dunkin’ Iced Coffee. (#ad) You too can keep your cool with Dunkin’ Iced Coffee Day, which is right around the corner on 5/23 and #bringjoy to kids at local hospitals!
On @dunkin Iced Coffee Day, $1 from every iced coffee sold at participating locations nationwide will be donated to the Dunkin’ @joyinchildhood Foundation. This will help bring joy to kids in local hospitals.
In Maine, my home state, that’s The Barbara Bush Children’s Hospital at Maine Medical Center, St. Mary’s Regional Medical Center, and Northern Light Eastern Maine Medical Center. 
So, make sure to mark your calendars for 5/23 to get your iced coffee and help bring joy to kids in the hospital in your community!
#dunkinmaine #dunkinpartner
.
.
.
.
.
.
#mommyandme #momstyle #momstylelife #busymom #busymomlife #maine #mainemom #mainelife
Chloe is definitely giving us a little bit of a ru Chloe is definitely giving us a little bit of a run for our money lately. Teething, leaps and learning new skills is making sleep pretty much non existent. Definitely walking around like a zombie lately. 

At least this cute plant stand is making me happy and adding some fun to my living space. Linked this one and others that you can get from @walmart for under $30 in my bio! 
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
#livingroomdecor #plantlady #momsofig #walmartfinds #walmartdeals #cornerofmyhome #livingroomideas
It’s Mother’s Day and this day wouldn’t be c It’s Mother’s Day and this day wouldn’t be complete without trying to get a photo of myself and my kids. This was the best we got, uncoordinated outfits and all.
Thankful to be their mom today and everyday. 
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
#mothersday2023 #momof3 #momstyle #motherhoodjourney #momswithcameras #motherhoodunfiltered
Saturdays are for soccer and running around like a Saturdays are for soccer and running around like a crazy person trying to entertain a bunch of kids. 
Honestly though leggings and a tank make up about 70% of my wardrobe. 

Everything is linked in my @shop.ltk, link in my bio. 
Happy Saturday friends! ☀️
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
#momstyle #momstylelife #affordablestyle #dailylooks #everydaystyle #mombod Mom style, Mom bod, Everyday look, easy style, soccer mom
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