• Home
  • About Me
  • Contact
  • Legalities
  • Categories
    • Parenting
    • Lifestyle
    • Holiday Ideas
    • Wellness
    • Beauty
    • Travel

My Slightly Chaotic Life

Balancing Life, Children and Chaos

Parenting

Procrastination, Fear and the Unknown

February 13, 2018 Comments : 2

I am not one to brag but I have this incredible skill that I have spent years cultivating. That skill is procrastination. I am amazing at putting things off till the last minute until full blown panic mood kicks in and I am furiously trying to finish whatever it is that I need to get done. This skill isn’t for everyone, after all, I do my best work under extreme pressure which has been beneficial to me throughout my many years of schooling and even now in my role as an ED nurse. For whatever reason when the time crunch is on my mind clears, calmness falls over me, and I have superhuman focus in order to complete a 20 page paper or even to save a life.

Procrastination currently though is not my friend in preparing for this baby. I am officially in the single digits of weeks left and do not even feel slightly prepared for what’s to come. Some may think; well you already have a child, you must have stuff from then but they tend to forget that when your child is 6 and you’ve gone through a divorce you get rid of stuff over the years till your left with nothing for a baby. Thankfully I have a crib (thanks to my sister), a pack and play (thanks to Aaron being on the ball) and a breast pump (thank you insurance). I also have some clothes and miscellaneous items thanks to my mom, my boyfriend’s daughter and a kind co-worker. My baby shower is next weekend which wouldn’t have even been possible if it wasn’t for 2 of my amazing friends who basically told me they were going to throw me one. So I am sure that I will get more necessary items then but other then that, besides a set of really cute ruffle sleeve onesies I purchased, I have not done much to prepare for this baby.

So why have I been procrastinating getting things together and organized because generally women are so excited when it comes to baby prepping? So while I sat in labor and delivery last night for 4 hours being monitored for contractions, I decided to take the time and reflect on why I was putting preparing for baby off and it ultimately led to the realization that it was because of fear. Fear of loss and the unknown were the two main reasons that came to mind.

My family has been through enough loss when it comes to pregnancy. I myself have personally experienced loss with my first pregnancy and was there for another family member when she experienced her own personal loss as well. This has made me reluctant to be excited about this pregnancy because I am terrified that it will end without a healthy baby in my arms coming home with us. I had a grief counselor tell me that when you lose your parents you lose your past but when you lose your child you lose your future which at that time was exactly how I felt; that I had lost what was to come. I’m scared to prepare for a future that may not happen.

IMG_0289
My rainbow baby who is now just as adorable at the age of 6

Early on in my second trimester I was told my c-section scar was thinning which could lead to a number of complications with the pregnancy as well as labor. Since then I have had one maternal fetal medicine doctor tell me I would require an early c-section, another one say that things looked stable and I could possibly have a c-section closer to 39 weeks, while the last one gave me hope that I could have the VBAC I had dreamed of. All these mixed opinions have caused me to be afraid of what is still unknown. We may not fully know the state of my previous scar until I deliver this baby, one way or another, but until then I’m scared of what that unknown can lead to and the complications that could arise.

Coming to these realizations were not easy nor is sharing them with the world. Hopefully now I can stop procrastinating and get working on preparing myself mentally and physically for this baby. If that fails, I will wait till the last minute like I do with so many other things and run around like a crazy lady trying to prepare what I’m sure I could pull off to be a fabulous nursery.

Share this...
Pin on Pinterest
Pinterest
Share on Facebook
Facebook
Tweet about this on Twitter
Twitter
Previous:
Co Parenting: What Not to Do
Next:
Our children, School and Their Safety

Comments

  1. kristinmoras says

    February 14, 2018 at 9:47 am

    Hang in there mama! I know that feeling of fear too. I just had a repeat cesarean too after hoping for a VBAC. They realized my scar was thin also and so I was delivered at 39weeks. It’s so scary, the unknown, but try to get your mind off of it with self-care and surrounding yourself with family and friends. Soon you’ll be holding your precious little babe! ♡

    Reply
  2. myslightlychaoticlife says

    February 15, 2018 at 8:36 pm

    Thank you so much! It’s scary to not know what’s going on and feels like it’s just a waiting game. I’m happy you had a safe delivery of your baby even though it wasn’t what you were hoping for. Healthy baby and mom is all that matters in the end!

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Recipe Rating




About Me

Hello

Hi! I'm Danielle. I'm a mom, wife and ED nurse. I love sharing my honest take on being a mom, traveling with kids and lifestyle content.

Let’s Connect

Featured Posts

Traveling with breastmilk: Here's what you need to know

Traveling with Breastmilk: Here’s what you need to know

postpartum wellness tips

Postpartum Wellness Tips

Easy. Elf on the Shelf Ideas

Easy Elf on the Shelf Ideas

Categories

  • Beauty
  • Holiday Ideas
  • Home Decor
  • Lifestyle
  • Mom Life
  • New England Living
  • Parenting
  • Pregnancy
  • Recipes
  • Style
  • Travel
  • Uncategorized
  • Wellness

Search

Archives

It’s all about the perspective ❤️ . . . . . It’s all about the perspective ❤️
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
#momsofinsta #soccermom #honestmom #busymomlife #momlifestyle #momof3
Fall is my absolute favorite time of year and what Fall is my absolute favorite time of year and what better way to spend it than by doing all the things with National Coffee Day right around the corner? #ad I love to have a cup on hand that helps keep my coffee nice and hot. With Chinet Comfort® cups, I can take my coffee on the go or stay home with it. How are you celebrating National Coffee Day? #mychinet @mychinet​
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
#homebody #nationalcoffeeday #momlifestyle #motherhoodsimplified #cozyliving
So thankful for these little ladies in my life eve So thankful for these little ladies in my life even though there is a slight chance I will regret their fiery spirits later on in when they are teens. 
#nationaldaughtersday 
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
#momof3 #daughters #siblinglove #momsofinsta #instamom #motherhoodjourney
It’s the first day of fall and I’m loving the It’s the first day of fall and I’m loving the cooler weather and warmer outfits. It’s all the perfect time because my favorite @abercrombie bodysuits are on sale through the weekend on the @shop.ltk app. If you shop the link through my bio you can get 20% off site wide. I’ve linked all my other favs as well! 
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
#ltkcurves #momstyle #ltksale #ltksalealert #mombod #falloutfit #falloutfits #outfitreel
Thinking back on the time I made my son get up wit Thinking back on the time I made my son get up with me to go watch the sunrise on top of Cadillac Mountain in @acadianps. 
Acadia is my absolute favorite place to visit and having my kids there to hike and explore with makes it that much better.  One day they won’t want to do this with me so for now I’ll enjoy it while I can even though he may have whined just a little about getting up that early. 
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
#mainelife #acadianationalpark #exploremaine #visitmaine #travelwithkids
It’s the outward impression that matters right? It’s the outward impression that matters right? I guess no matter how presentable I make myself look, my attitude is always going to come on through. 
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
#momhumor #momreels #funnymom #workingmomlife #workingmoms #motherhoodlife
I’m happy that my body finally feels like my own I’m happy that my body finally feels like my own again but I’m sad that I may never experience another newborn and baby stage. 
How do I come to terms with never experiencing those firsts again or baby snuggles? 
.
.
.
.
.

.
.
#momoflittles #motherhood #motherhoodunplugged #motherhoodjourney #momreel #momof3 #momtruths
One year old. My little rainbow baby is officiall One year old. 
My little rainbow baby is officially one. It’s been absolute chaos this year but every second, every minute, every hour has been worth it. 
The amount of joy this little lady has brought into all of our lives is unexplainable. Being her mom has been amazing and I’m so excited to see what the next year brings. ❤️
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.#oneyearold #oneyear #mommyandme #momof3 #motherhoodjourney #momreels
Follow Me on Instagram

Tags

Baby Baby essentials baby items Back to school birth cesarean section Children Christmas Christmas gifts Family travel Fourth trimester Gift Ideas Goals Healthy Healthy Kids Healthy Living Holiday Home Home decor Kids Life changes Lifestyle Maine Maine Living Mom mom life Mom style motherhood Motherhood unplugged Mother’s Day moving forward new baby New England living New England travel new mom New Year Parenting pregnancy preparing for baby Relationships second child Travel travel with kids Weight Loss Working mom
It’s all about the perspective ❤️ . . . . . It’s all about the perspective ❤️
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
#momsofinsta #soccermom #honestmom #busymomlife #momlifestyle #momof3
Fall is my absolute favorite time of year and what Fall is my absolute favorite time of year and what better way to spend it than by doing all the things with National Coffee Day right around the corner? #ad I love to have a cup on hand that helps keep my coffee nice and hot. With Chinet Comfort® cups, I can take my coffee on the go or stay home with it. How are you celebrating National Coffee Day? #mychinet @mychinet​
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
#homebody #nationalcoffeeday #momlifestyle #motherhoodsimplified #cozyliving
So thankful for these little ladies in my life eve So thankful for these little ladies in my life even though there is a slight chance I will regret their fiery spirits later on in when they are teens. 
#nationaldaughtersday 
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
#momof3 #daughters #siblinglove #momsofinsta #instamom #motherhoodjourney
It’s the first day of fall and I’m loving the It’s the first day of fall and I’m loving the cooler weather and warmer outfits. It’s all the perfect time because my favorite @abercrombie bodysuits are on sale through the weekend on the @shop.ltk app. If you shop the link through my bio you can get 20% off site wide. I’ve linked all my other favs as well! 
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
#ltkcurves #momstyle #ltksale #ltksalealert #mombod #falloutfit #falloutfits #outfitreel
Thinking back on the time I made my son get up wit Thinking back on the time I made my son get up with me to go watch the sunrise on top of Cadillac Mountain in @acadianps. 
Acadia is my absolute favorite place to visit and having my kids there to hike and explore with makes it that much better.  One day they won’t want to do this with me so for now I’ll enjoy it while I can even though he may have whined just a little about getting up that early. 
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
#mainelife #acadianationalpark #exploremaine #visitmaine #travelwithkids
It’s the outward impression that matters right? It’s the outward impression that matters right? I guess no matter how presentable I make myself look, my attitude is always going to come on through. 
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
#momhumor #momreels #funnymom #workingmomlife #workingmoms #motherhoodlife
I’m happy that my body finally feels like my own I’m happy that my body finally feels like my own again but I’m sad that I may never experience another newborn and baby stage. 
How do I come to terms with never experiencing those firsts again or baby snuggles? 
.
.
.
.
.

.
.
#momoflittles #motherhood #motherhoodunplugged #motherhoodjourney #momreel #momof3 #momtruths
One year old. My little rainbow baby is officiall One year old. 
My little rainbow baby is officially one. It’s been absolute chaos this year but every second, every minute, every hour has been worth it. 
The amount of joy this little lady has brought into all of our lives is unexplainable. Being her mom has been amazing and I’m so excited to see what the next year brings. ❤️
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.#oneyearold #oneyear #mommyandme #momof3 #motherhoodjourney #momreels
Follow Me on Instagram
2023  Design by SkyandStars.co
Back Top