Trying to conceive can be a less than enjoyable experience for some. Lately it seems that someone I know, including myself has struggled. While more people are talking about their struggles there are still a lot of things that people aren’t talking about when trying to conceive. My first pregnancies seemed to happen so easily for me that I had a hard time relating to those that had journeys that took longer then mine. Now, it seems that since I have been on my own trying to conceive journey, I have learned a lot about the things they don’t tell you and I learned on my own along the way.
Things They Don’t Tell you about Trying to Conceive
It can be a chore
Tracking, planning and learning to listen to your body can all become a chore in the trying to conceive game. Sex no longer becomes fun but instead it turns into a mission to conceive around the right ovulation time. Pro tip here: keep the fun alive at least as much as you can and stop treating sex as a means to an end. I promise you, once you take the stress and worry out of it, it won’t feel like such a chore anymore. Not to mention ovulation tracking and all that goes along with that can make trying to conceive a tedious task.
The disappointment is real
Every month, when my period would come the disappointment was overwhelming. As one month turned into two, then into three and so on; getting a negative test became more and more devastating. There would be days that I swore up and down that I was based on symptoms only to be snapped back to reality when those symptoms turned out to give me false hope.
It can get Expensive
The cost of trying to conceive increases exponentially the longer and harder you try. Ovulation tests or kits, vitamins and then fertility specialists which it may come to for some couples. Pregnancy tests are also expensive, especially the ones that promise to tell you 6 days sooner. If you are an obsessive tester, which many of us are, the costs add up every month. One ovulation predictor kit that I found extremely useful was the Mira.
Stay off the Internet
This is really good advice for anything health related. You google headache symptoms and boom, all of a sudden, you have a brain tumor. Same can be for trying to conceive and your fertility. If you really want a professional opinion, seek out just that; a professional opinion. Searching for answers on why you may be having trouble conceiving on the internet will only lead you down a dark, dark road. So stay far away.
People will have opinions
The biggest mistake that I ever made was actually telling people that I was trying to conceive. It seemed as soon as those words came out of my mouth someone had an opinion or a suggestion which sometimes was more stressful then the actual trying to conceive part. Then any time I abstained from something not good for pregnancy such as drinking or skydiving, the questions started coming at me. Sometimes the “are you pregnant” were incredibly hurtful and further discouraged me even more when either I wasn’t pregnant or when I was but knew that it was going to end in miscarriage. Brace yourself because these opinions and questions can really take a toll on your mental health.