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My Slightly Chaotic Life

Balancing Life, Children and Chaos

Parenting

Why I Gave Up on Sleep Training

April 13, 2019 Comments : 15

As a new mom, the one thing that you hope and pray for is that your baby will sleep all night. You research every single sleep training method  in hopes that one will work eventually. I know I was that mom. With my first being a terrible sleeper, I for sure thought that I would be lucky enough to get a second one that slept all night. Wrong. Both my babies were terrible sleepers, in fact my one year old still doesn’t sleep through the night consistently.

The reasons why I gave up sleep training my baby and what I do instead. | Sleep training | Baby | Sleep | Baby sleep |

I tried everything possible to get Avery to sleep all night. I attempted sleep training methods from CIO, pick up/put down, chair method to white noise, essential oils, dream feeds, and drinking an entire bottle of wine (oh wait that was me). If it was advertised as a way to get baby to sleep all night, I made sure I tried it out. We even made it through the four month sleep regression pretty seamlessly with these tips HERE but even then, Avery didn’t sleep through the night.

Then one day I said f*ck it and gave up on sleep training.

Here are the reasons why.

The reasons why I gave up sleep training my baby and what I do instead. | Sleep training | Baby | Sleep | Baby sleep |

My baby is happy more often then not

Avery is and always has been a happy baby. She is always smiling, playing and giggling. The lack of sleeping all night has not affected her mood one bit. If her daily life or routine suffered from the lack of sleep I probably would have held out a little bit longer before giving up. If she is happy, I am happy.

The reasons why I gave up sleep training my baby and what I do instead. | Sleep training | Baby | Sleep | Baby sleep |

It doesn’t fit our busy lifestyle

In the early infant days, Facebook mom groups stressed me out with the need to create a schedule for your baby in order to get them to sleep better. I probably read the phrase eat, play, sleep at least a million times which was followed by a stringent schedule on exactly what time naps should be at.

Scheduling nap times and play times around raising other children and carting them around to family science night or soccer practice is not easy. Also try doing it around busy opposite work schedules. Avery napped on the go most of the time and would usually wake when she stopped moving.

I feel terrible when my baby cries

Yes I know everyone feels bad when their baby cries. However, I get irrationally bothered by it. I literally feel the anxiety growing in me until I either just get up and pluck her out of the crib or scream at my significant other to do it.

I attempted the CIO method a couple of times with Avery but each time my heart broke more and more. Yes, I know they are fine. Yes, I know that no lifelong psychological damage is being done. Despite knowing all this, the CIO method was not for me.

I love the snuggles

Avery is so busy right now. She is constantly on the move which doesn’t allow much time for snuggling. In the middle of the night she actually wants to snuggle. She burrows her little body next to you and falls asleep. It is seriously the best feeling in the world. I will take all the snuggles I can get because I know that once she is 7 like my son, she won’t want to snuggle with me anymore.

The reasons why I gave up sleep training my baby and what I do instead. | Sleep training | Baby | Sleep | Baby sleep |

She will sleep eventually

She will eventually sleep. In fact, some nights she does go all night sleeping and it is like winning the lottery for our poor sleep deprived bodies. I remember my son being a terrible sleeper too but now thinking back on that time, I don’t remember the sleepless nights or even when he eventually slept through the night the first time. So I have resigned myself to the fact that eventually she will sleep.

 I’m used to it

Alright, at first I was not used to it at all. There is a reason that they use sleep deprivation as a torture device. Except this sleep deprivation was coming from the tiny terrorist I created. There were nights were I did not think that I would survive and I begged Aaron to get a vasectomy because I couldn’t imagine going through this ever again.

Then eventually I got used to getting up during the night. For whatever reason, my body decided that it could function (and function well) on small amounts of sleep.

So yes, I gave up on sleep training my child and I am fine with it. I am in no way saying that sleep training is bad, in fact, for many families it works for them. But for me, and my child, we are taking a different approach and I am sure all the sleep experts out there are screaming at me from behind their screens.

The reasons why I gave up sleep training my baby and what I do instead. | Sleep training | Baby | Sleep | Baby sleep |

So what do I do instead of sleep training?

When Avery shows that she is tired, we lay her down in her crib (yes, she sleeps in her crib in her own room). Some nights she goes to sleep without a fuss. On the nights where she is ready to wage an all out battle, we do our best to encourage her to go to sleep on her own. We lay her down, pat her butt and then leave. If she gets up and cries, we do it again.

When Avery wakes up in the middle of the night, we go in and either pop her pacifier back in her mouth or pat her back and cover her back up. If she really protests then it usually means she isn’t going back to bed no matter what. Avery is at the point where she doesn’t take a bottle in the middle of the night so we do our best to encourage her back to sleep while being as hands off as possible.

It may not be the best way, but it’s our way and it works for our family and that’s just fine.

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Comments

  1. Snehal says

    April 14, 2019 at 4:14 am

    I must share this post with my aunt who has recently given birth. It will be very helpful for her. 😊

    Reply
  2. Ashli Ferguson says

    April 14, 2019 at 4:07 pm

    This is a great post for all those new moms out there!!

    Reply
  3. Lydia Smith says

    April 14, 2019 at 6:00 pm

    Great post for new moms and it must be really difficult for you as a new mom.

    Reply
  4. Hannah Healy says

    April 14, 2019 at 6:49 pm

    It’s important to do what works for you!

    Reply
  5. Krysten Quiles says

    April 14, 2019 at 8:14 pm

    I know my coworker really struggled with this and it was so hard to watch. I’m glad you figured out what works for you!

    Reply
  6. Nicole Anderson | Camping for Women says

    April 14, 2019 at 8:48 pm

    What a great post and a great approach to this issue. More moms need to read this to help them through this stage.

    Reply
  7. Jackline A says

    April 15, 2019 at 5:27 am

    Don’t worry she will get there eventually. I had the same issue. Some days are good and others are bad but all we can do is try our best and be flexible.

    Reply
  8. Alexandra Cook says

    April 15, 2019 at 6:03 am

    One of our struggle as a mom is our baby’s way of sleeping. Every month as she changes mood she changes the time of sleep. I have tried sleep training too but I found it not so useful since I already get used of my little one sleeping time.

    Reply
  9. Miljana says

    April 15, 2019 at 9:54 am

    All children are different. I understand your reasons, it’s up to you to read your child’s mind! Such a crazy role!

    Reply
  10. Monidipa Dutta says

    April 15, 2019 at 10:22 am

    I don’t have kids but this is wonderful. May be someday I’ll need it.

    Reply
  11. ifillLife says

    April 15, 2019 at 11:48 am

    well done momma! anything that works out perfect for you and your baby. I experienced this too.

    Reply
  12. Ashley N Rice says

    April 15, 2019 at 4:20 pm

    Thank you for sharing all of this. I’m not a mom yet but this is super helpful to see!

    Reply
  13. Melanie Frost says

    April 15, 2019 at 8:57 pm

    You do you, momma! It’s hard not comparing ourselves to the rest of the chicks in our mom groups. But it’s your family, your choice. Good for you!

    Reply
  14. Becca Talbot says

    April 23, 2019 at 8:23 am

    I don’t have children myself, but will share this post with a few of my friends who do. I am sure they’ll find it very useful x

    Reply
  15. Bushra says

    April 27, 2019 at 5:18 pm

    It’s hard as a new mom and your post could help a lot of new moms. Well written as well.

    Reply

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Hi! I'm Danielle. I'm a mom, wife and ED nurse. I love sharing my honest take on being a mom, traveling with kids and lifestyle content.

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Anyone else struggle getting enough sleep? I know Anyone else struggle getting enough sleep? I know I do, especially lately.
(ad) @marlowpillow is helping me get better sleep with their cooling, memory foam pillows that are adjustable to the firmness that you like. Making my bed a cozier place to be allows me to get the rest my body is desperate for. Make sure to check out my stories to learn more! 
And the more you buy, the more you save so keep that in mind when your looking to update your space! 
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#mycozyhome #homedecorinspo #bedroominspo #cozybedroom #pregnancylife #bettersleep #bedtimereading #momlifeunfiltered #pregnantmama #motherhoodsimplified #bedroomstyling #sleepytime
A little in my feels this weekend with Mother’s A little in my feels this weekend with Mother’s Day and officially being past the halfway point in this pregnancy. 
Time really does fly by so fast that it’s hard to keep up and before I know it, a new little one will be joining our small, crowded home. Trying to get as much stuff done before that happens including adding storage options where I am able to. 
Thankful to @nathanjames furniture for helping to add just that while being stylish with this beautiful Kova storage unit. Link in my bio to get one for your home. 

How do you organize your small spaces to keep your sanity with kids?! I need all the tips! 
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#cornerofmyhome #homedecorideas #smallspaces #homedecorating #maineliving #newenglandliving #momsofig #momstyle #homestylinginspo #organizedhome #lifewithkids
As a mom, one of the scariest things is to have a As a mom, one of the scariest things is to have a sick child, and as a nurse, I know how disruptive health issues can be on the lives of children and teens. Thankfully The Barbara Bush Children’s Hospital at Maine Medical Center is close by and provides high quality healthcare to the many children of Maine, and today, BBCH became one of the first hospitals in the country to receive the Connecting Joy grant from the @dunkin Joy in Childhood Foundation! #DunkinPartner
 
Maine’s Dunkin’ franchisees have given more than $500,000 to The Barbara Bush Children’s Hospital since 2012, mainly through the annual Dunkin’ Iced Coffee Day campaign fundraiser (taking place on May 25th this year!). On Dunkin’ Iced Coffee Day, $1 from every iced coffee sold at participating Maine Dunkin’ locations will be donated to the Dunkin’ Joy in Childhood Foundation to bring joy to kids at BBCH. (Excludes Cold Brew and Nitro Cold Brew.)
The $87k @JoyInChildhood grant will help bring joy through gaming experiences to pediatric patients with the hope of normalizing their stays at hospitals. Children that are living with chronic illness or dealing with a hospitalization are at greater risk than their peers for the impact of stress and anxiety. Distraction is a healthy coping mechanism for kids and teens to disengage with the hospital environment. Gaming provides the perfect escape to play, relax, laugh and experience joy.This grant will have an immediate impact by adding structure and staff support for gaming as part of the hospitals’ Child Life Program. 
Today, a Dunkin’ sampling truck provided free small, iced coffees and Munchkins to more than 1,000 Maine Medical Center employees in Portland and Scarborough. 
 
Dunkin’ is not only supporting the children of Maine, but the healthcare workers too. So, make sure to grab an iced coffee at Dunkin’ on May 25th to help support these wonderful programs as well! 
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A little over halfway there. Even though hitting A little over halfway there. 
Even though hitting these milestones feels slight reassuring, I know I won’t fully be able to breath until this little one is out and healthy. Even appointments bring about their own set of fears that something may be wrong. For now, I’m just taking it day by day and week by week and having hope that everything will be ok.

Any other moms or moms to be out there forgo the weekly pictures? I just can’t ever get my shit together enough to remember to take them. Tell me I’m not the only one. 
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Sometimes I feel like I am the only one that doesn Sometimes I feel like I am the only one that doesn’t enjoy pregnancy on this platform.
I love the end result and am so grateful to be creating a new life but lately I have had more bad days then good days. 

I’m exhausted, sick and barely have enough energy to get through the things that I need to do let alone the things that I used to enjoy like working out. The stress of trying to figure out how I’m going to get through the next 18 weeks has been overwhelming to me lately. 
I will still share the joys but I also think it’s more realistic to share the downfalls too so hopefully hearing that not all pregnant women glow 24/7 can give those who are struggling as well someone to relate to. 

Follow along for more relatable mom and pregnancy content and share with me your struggles in the comments. 
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Mother’s Day is fast approaching and I love gett Mother’s Day is fast approaching and I love getting gifts that mean something. 

@picturesongold is exactly the type of gift that I love getting. Custom made lockets with laser engraved pictures inside make this the perfect sentimental gift idea for someone in your life or even for yourself. 
If you order now you can get shipping guaranteed by Mother’s Day. Head to the link in my bio to learn more! 
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#mothersdaygiftideas #mothersdaygift #motherhoodinspired #motherhoodjourney #mombloggers #momsofinsta #giftideasforher #momlifebalance #motherhoodunited
Just a little reminder that @dunkin still has 2 me Just a little reminder that @dunkin still has 2 medium iced coffees for only $5! What better way to reconnect then by grabbing an iced coffee for you and one for a friend?

This fun Dunkin’ pop up Dunkin’ Connections was the perfect spot to grab this cute photo op! Even the kids had fun trying to learn how to use an actual phone! 
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#dunkinmaine #dunkinpartner #dunkinconnections #mainemama #newenglandblogger #maineliving #motherhoodmoments #momstyle #momsofinsta #coffeedaily #visitmaine 
#easystyle
I’m not sure about you, but I love saving money I’m not sure about you, but I love saving money on everyday items!! #BJsWholesalePartner That’s why I shop at BJ’s Wholesale Club. And now there is one more reason to love shopping @BJsWholesale: BJ’s Fuel Savers Program! Now through the end of April, BJ’s members who spend $100 in-club or on a pickup order, will receive an additional 50 cents off per gallon at the pump. This discount will be reflected when they fill up outside at the pump at BJ’s Gas after making a $100+ purchase in-club. (In-club purchase and gas purchase must be made on the same day in order to receive the additional discount). So, become a BJ’s member today and fill up your pantry, fridge and your gas tank with these amazing deals and savings. 
This special BJ’s Gas offer is valid from now until the end of 
#bjswholesaleclub #BjsSmartSaver 
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Anyone else struggle getting enough sleep? I know Anyone else struggle getting enough sleep? I know I do, especially lately.
(ad) @marlowpillow is helping me get better sleep with their cooling, memory foam pillows that are adjustable to the firmness that you like. Making my bed a cozier place to be allows me to get the rest my body is desperate for. Make sure to check out my stories to learn more! 
And the more you buy, the more you save so keep that in mind when your looking to update your space! 
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.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
#mycozyhome #homedecorinspo #bedroominspo #cozybedroom #pregnancylife #bettersleep #bedtimereading #momlifeunfiltered #pregnantmama #motherhoodsimplified #bedroomstyling #sleepytime
A little in my feels this weekend with Mother’s A little in my feels this weekend with Mother’s Day and officially being past the halfway point in this pregnancy. 
Time really does fly by so fast that it’s hard to keep up and before I know it, a new little one will be joining our small, crowded home. Trying to get as much stuff done before that happens including adding storage options where I am able to. 
Thankful to @nathanjames furniture for helping to add just that while being stylish with this beautiful Kova storage unit. Link in my bio to get one for your home. 

How do you organize your small spaces to keep your sanity with kids?! I need all the tips! 
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
#cornerofmyhome #homedecorideas #smallspaces #homedecorating #maineliving #newenglandliving #momsofig #momstyle #homestylinginspo #organizedhome #lifewithkids
As a mom, one of the scariest things is to have a As a mom, one of the scariest things is to have a sick child, and as a nurse, I know how disruptive health issues can be on the lives of children and teens. Thankfully The Barbara Bush Children’s Hospital at Maine Medical Center is close by and provides high quality healthcare to the many children of Maine, and today, BBCH became one of the first hospitals in the country to receive the Connecting Joy grant from the @dunkin Joy in Childhood Foundation! #DunkinPartner
 
Maine’s Dunkin’ franchisees have given more than $500,000 to The Barbara Bush Children’s Hospital since 2012, mainly through the annual Dunkin’ Iced Coffee Day campaign fundraiser (taking place on May 25th this year!). On Dunkin’ Iced Coffee Day, $1 from every iced coffee sold at participating Maine Dunkin’ locations will be donated to the Dunkin’ Joy in Childhood Foundation to bring joy to kids at BBCH. (Excludes Cold Brew and Nitro Cold Brew.)
The $87k @JoyInChildhood grant will help bring joy through gaming experiences to pediatric patients with the hope of normalizing their stays at hospitals. Children that are living with chronic illness or dealing with a hospitalization are at greater risk than their peers for the impact of stress and anxiety. Distraction is a healthy coping mechanism for kids and teens to disengage with the hospital environment. Gaming provides the perfect escape to play, relax, laugh and experience joy.This grant will have an immediate impact by adding structure and staff support for gaming as part of the hospitals’ Child Life Program. 
Today, a Dunkin’ sampling truck provided free small, iced coffees and Munchkins to more than 1,000 Maine Medical Center employees in Portland and Scarborough. 
 
Dunkin’ is not only supporting the children of Maine, but the healthcare workers too. So, make sure to grab an iced coffee at Dunkin’ on May 25th to help support these wonderful programs as well! 
 . 
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
#DunkinMaine #SipIcedBringJoy #BringJoy #mainelife #mainemom #newenglandliving #newenglandstyle #momstyle #workingmomlife #mommyandme #coffeelife #motherhoodinspired
A little over halfway there. Even though hitting A little over halfway there. 
Even though hitting these milestones feels slight reassuring, I know I won’t fully be able to breath until this little one is out and healthy. Even appointments bring about their own set of fears that something may be wrong. For now, I’m just taking it day by day and week by week and having hope that everything will be ok.

Any other moms or moms to be out there forgo the weekly pictures? I just can’t ever get my shit together enough to remember to take them. Tell me I’m not the only one. 
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
#momtobe #pregnantlife #pregnantstyle #pregnancyafterloss #motherhoodjourney #20weekspregnant #momoftwo #baby3 
#honestmommin #mommyandme #honestmom #momsofig #motherhoodthroughinstagram
Sometimes I feel like I am the only one that doesn Sometimes I feel like I am the only one that doesn’t enjoy pregnancy on this platform.
I love the end result and am so grateful to be creating a new life but lately I have had more bad days then good days. 

I’m exhausted, sick and barely have enough energy to get through the things that I need to do let alone the things that I used to enjoy like working out. The stress of trying to figure out how I’m going to get through the next 18 weeks has been overwhelming to me lately. 
I will still share the joys but I also think it’s more realistic to share the downfalls too so hopefully hearing that not all pregnant women glow 24/7 can give those who are struggling as well someone to relate to. 

Follow along for more relatable mom and pregnancy content and share with me your struggles in the comments. 
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
#pregnancylife #pregnantstyle #pregnantmama #thebump #momtruth #pregnancyjourney #momlifeunfiltered #motherhoodunplugged #instamommy #momblogs #targetmom #targetstyle #motherly #teammotherly
Mother’s Day is fast approaching and I love gett Mother’s Day is fast approaching and I love getting gifts that mean something. 

@picturesongold is exactly the type of gift that I love getting. Custom made lockets with laser engraved pictures inside make this the perfect sentimental gift idea for someone in your life or even for yourself. 
If you order now you can get shipping guaranteed by Mother’s Day. Head to the link in my bio to learn more! 
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
#mothersdaygiftideas #mothersdaygift #motherhoodinspired #motherhoodjourney #mombloggers #momsofinsta #giftideasforher #momlifebalance #motherhoodunited
Just a little reminder that @dunkin still has 2 me Just a little reminder that @dunkin still has 2 medium iced coffees for only $5! What better way to reconnect then by grabbing an iced coffee for you and one for a friend?

This fun Dunkin’ pop up Dunkin’ Connections was the perfect spot to grab this cute photo op! Even the kids had fun trying to learn how to use an actual phone! 
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
#dunkinmaine #dunkinpartner #dunkinconnections #mainemama #newenglandblogger #maineliving #motherhoodmoments #momstyle #momsofinsta #coffeedaily #visitmaine 
#easystyle
I’m not sure about you, but I love saving money I’m not sure about you, but I love saving money on everyday items!! #BJsWholesalePartner That’s why I shop at BJ’s Wholesale Club. And now there is one more reason to love shopping @BJsWholesale: BJ’s Fuel Savers Program! Now through the end of April, BJ’s members who spend $100 in-club or on a pickup order, will receive an additional 50 cents off per gallon at the pump. This discount will be reflected when they fill up outside at the pump at BJ’s Gas after making a $100+ purchase in-club. (In-club purchase and gas purchase must be made on the same day in order to receive the additional discount). So, become a BJ’s member today and fill up your pantry, fridge and your gas tank with these amazing deals and savings. 
This special BJ’s Gas offer is valid from now until the end of 
#bjswholesaleclub #BjsSmartSaver 
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
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#momstyle #momblogs #motherhoodalive #newenglandliving #mainemom #moneysavingtips #momswhoblog #momsofig
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